A Man and his (Foul) Balls: Vol. 3

By Nathaniel Johnson, Foul Balls

Luckie's is "Foul Territory"

foul territory: English. (noun) (usually uncountable, plural foul territories)

1. (kickball) The area outside the playing field beyond the first base and third base lines, including the grandstand.

2. Anywhere the Foul Balls, a wildly popular WAKA Peninsula team, has congregated and/or dominated.

3. Luckie's Dueling Piano Bar and Grill

I couldn't get on the dance floor Wednesday night because it was foul territory.

Welcome back friends. In Week 3, the Foul Balls faced their greatest obstacles yet: Tabb Middle School. The lack of an on field bar showed in the first game of the doubleheader against Chicken Tetrazzini. The Foulies came out flat, quiet and sober. Bystanders in the opening match wondered aloud if the Foulies had been laid off or lost a family pet earlier in the day. Hats off to the Italian Entrees and their stout defense for prolonging the Foulies scoring drought through the longest, most clear headed five innings of the season. Foul Balls righted the ship in the nightcap through a very complex hydration system that facilitates the transport of booze on the backs of Ballers. Finally back in Foul Territory, the team felt the wave of euphoria that only the sweet loving embrace only alcohol can provide. Armed with Vodkafidence, the Balls thought it only fair that we spot Viscous and Discus twelve runs before the first pitch. The Foul Balls broke a three game scoreless streak with a tying run in the bottom of the fourth and then decided that they had doled out enough punishment on the field and their livers. The Balls voted to accept a 13-1 tie with Vikings and Drive-bys and desperately tried to follow Mimi's smoking tire trail to Luckie's. A two ball salute to Various and Dariusrucker for playing a fun and gentlemanly game with the Foulies.

Foul Balls Couple of the Week: Week 3: Jen and Juice.  (You see what I did there?) Captain Jen Nardi made the Foul Balls play of the day with a falling two out, bases loaded grab. She took a nasty hit to the back of the head going down but was able to put team before concussion and hold on for the out. In game two of the Foulies doubleheader, our fearless, and now possibly concussed, leader donned the Camelback of "game juice" just to give V&D a chance against Foul Balls' blinding team speed. The effects of the ever-growing egg on her head started to show as Jen began offering V&Ds a "taste of her juice", which, consequently, is an easy way to catch a V.D.

This week's love anthem to my (Foul) Balls describes my feelings on Foul Balls' Cannonball Run from Tabb to Luckie's. Thankfully, I was not the one driving, and we here at AMAH(F)B encourage the league to always have a Designated Driver... even if have to take the Foul Balls route and pay someone off with the promise of free future booze.