Thursday, May 16, 2019

CLUBWAKA MLS Spring 19 - Week 7

WEEK 7 - Game Over, Man

So much talk last week on the blog about how the final week of the season would turn out.  6 Analysts gave us their predictions and we mapped out scenarios for each of them, but only one got them all correct.  Only one seemed to have ESP.  Seemed to be the Oracle.  Seemed to be that weird turtle thing from Neverending Story.  And yet.... so much hate.

So while Jay serves up some sick burns, you know behind the scenes he's calling me Mediocredamus with the way I be predictin' MLS scores.  

And with so much build-up, just when you think you can't get more amped on some CLUBWAKA Soccer Action, HERE COME THE PLAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFS.  *Air Horn Toot*

But first...

Shoutouts (and hugs)

- Shout out to all you moms and you moms moms who came out to the games on Sunday and spent the day with us.  I'll let All Stars FC take it from here... 

- Special shout out to Ryan Speed of PKs and IPAs and Scott Troutman of Misfits who helped us out of a bind and reffed 4 of the games on Sunday.  That's two weeks in a row for Ryan and while this is Scott's first time reffing CLUBWAKA MLS, he's offered to help when we've been in a bind before -- so many thanks, guys!  Sunday wouldn't have happened without you.

- Shout out to all of the analysts last week - Bailey Riley of Ronaldo McDonaldo, Calli Sherrill of Look Ma, No Hands, Buck Waldrop of Misfits, Brandon Adrian of All Bark No Bite, and Jay Coble of Oozlekicks.  Know it took time to make your picks and analysis and it was much appreciated.

- Shout out to Hot and Messi.  For the last few weeks, they've been hurting on numbers and they haven't closed up shop and forfeited.  They've come out and played down with a ton of heart.  Much much respect.

- Shout out to all of the folks that are scoring your first goals!  Over the past few weeks, we've had Claudia Galantino and Cristina Genoese-Zerbi get their first goals for Netkicks, Jennie Grayson get one for Hot and Messi, and Erin Weniger of Oozlekicks knocked her first in the ol' onion bag and there's nothing that warms my heart more. 

- Shout out to Jay Coble who won't get recognized later in the blog for his play, but dude was absolutely bananas against Hangover on Sunday.  So many amazing saves. 

- Shout out to those asking for more soccer.  I've had a lot of people ask whether we can extend the season, add doubleheaders, have a Summer season, have a Winter season.  While there's nothing that's more flattering to the league, I need time to recharge my batteries.  That's where CLUBWAKA's other sports come in. 

1.  Have you ever wanted to get drafted like you're in the NFL?  Have you ever wanted to play striker and keeper at the same time?  Well, a kickball draft league is for you!  Luckily, CLUBWAKA has two this summer - one in VB and one in Hampton. Seriously, I can't say this enough.  The draft party and the subsequent season are amazing and a fantastic way of meeting new people.

· When: Mondays beginning July 8th
· Location: Bayville Farms Park
· Postgames: Bucketheads Beach Grill 
· Draft Party: Sunday, June 30 (Details Coming Soon!)
· FB Group:
· Website:

· When: Wednesdays beginning July 10
· Location: Briarfield Park
· Postgames: Announcement Coming Soon!
· Draft Party: Sunday, July 7 (Details Coming Soon)
· FB Group:
· Website:…/kickball/wednesday/5003

2.  You have two seasons of soccer and that's enough kicking?  Well, how about some beach volleyball right down the street at Paradise Ocean Club?  A season is too much commitment?  OK, we got a one day charity v-ball tourney for you then. 

3.  That too much sweatin' for you and you'd rather be inside with a nice Bud Light cuttin' it up with your friends?  Bowling or Bar Games may be the answer.

Soccer ain't the only sport out there.  

Spread your wings, chil'n.  There are new frontiers to conquer.  

Diversify yo bonds, son.


1.  No housekeeping.  


All Bark No Bite vs. Retired Athletes - 'RA introduces All Bark to the Early Bird Special.'

Retired Athletes went from no wins and sniffing the cellar to jumping up the table to finish tied for the 7th best record in the league.  Impressive.  A couple of goals by Kevin Wortham and another screamer by Liz Gildo led them to victory despite All Bark coming out firing. 

Final - Retired Athletes 5 - 2 All Bark No Bite

Biercelona vs. Defenders of the Bridge - 'Biercelona douses the Lions!'

Didn't get to see much of this one, but did hear Kathy White and Erica Rice played the entire game for DOTB while Scott Hines had another brace.  Biercelona turned on the offense the past two weeks with Edgardo Martinez continuing his hot scoring streak with another hat trick and another couple from Jerry Maldonado.  

Final - Biercelona 6 - 3 Defenders of the Bridge (but Lionsbridge still showed VBU what's up -- right boys?)

Hangover 86 FC vs. Oozlekicks - 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Coble 2: Secret of the Ooze'

This game should have been closer, but Jay Coble stood on his head with at least two memorable saves - a diving save on a volley and a push up onto the crossbar on a looping shot from Karina.  Meanwhile, his team spread the goal wealth around with all 5 goals by different players including a goal by each Weniger.

Final - Oozlekicks 5 - 0 Hangover 86 FC

Kick in a Box vs. Misfits - 'Where Eagles Dare.. to Score'

At halftime, Kick in a Box was sniffing around an upset -- only being down 3-2.  But in the second half, Misfits put on their Doc Martens and went moshing.   Led by Trey Engleburg's hat trick and another couple from Davin Field that put him in the #2 slot for the golden boot, these Misfits slam danced into the playoffs.  Meanwhile, it left Kick in a Box refreshing the scores to see which bracket they'd end up in.  Stay tunnnnnned.

Final - Misfits 7 - 2 Kick in a Box

White Joggers vs. All Stars FC - 'The Joggers See Stars'

White Joggers started solid, but has seen their early momentum fade in recent weeks.  Meanwhile, All Stars has been consistently strong all season and is sure to make some noise next week.  Like Oozlekicks before them, they spread the offense around on Sunday with goals by 6 different players and a married couple each scoring a goal with both Rojas's (Anderson and Vick) scoring goals.  And like Kick in a Box, White Joggers started nibbling on their fingernails in anticipation of the last few games.

Final - All Stars FC 6 - 2 White Joggers

PKs and IPAs vs. Netkicks and Chill - 'Are you still watching 'MLS's Most Surprising Team'?'

Netkicks locked in their second place spot with a win over PKs and IPAs in the last game of the season.  Netkicks started strong with a couple of goals by Brendan Fajotina and a couple from Chris O'Neal.  Meanwhile, if PKs and IPAs could pull of the upset, they had a solid chance to end up in the top bracket.  Instead, they look like a strong pick for bringing home the League 2 trophy.  

Final - Netkicks 7 - 3 PKs and IPAs

Hot and Messi vs. Ronaldo McDonaldo - 'Hot and Messi starts with a 6 piece'

I won't revisit what has already been said, but starting with 6 players against the only undefeated team in the league is going to get a bit messi.  And it did as Ronaldo wanted to put the score out of reach if the weather turned nasty.  Once Hot and Messi had Carlos Grimaldo and Marvin Arboine show up, the game stabilized and RM's attack was slowed.  Highlights from this one were a great front post goal off a corner by Jennie Grayson of H&M and a hat trick from Dara Emami of RM.  

Final - Ronaldo McDonaldo 9 - 1 Hot and Messi

Look Ma No Hands vs. Moat Monsters - 'Look Ma, 4 Monster Goals'

The game of the week lived up to the hype with the final being decided by one goal.  In reviewing Ryan O'Donnell's photos, this one looked to be quite the clash on the physical and verbal side of the house.  Last season's Golden Gal, Calli Sherrill seems to have found her scoring boots just in time for the playoffs with a couple of goals, while Matt Burleson of Moat continues his solid offensive season.  In the end, Moat outlasted Look Ma and put LMNH in a precarious playoff position.  Time to wait it out with White Joggers and Kick in a Box.

Final - Moat Monsters 4 - 3 Look Ma No Hands

You can't take this as gospel b/c the standings in the Google sheet don't take into account the tiebreaking formulas or the fact that Biercelona is ineligible for the playoffs, so I'm going to take you through some analysis.  


1. Ronaldo McDonaldo
2. Netkicks and Chill
3. Oozlekicks (Tiebreaker over All Stars was Goals Allowed)
4. All Stars FC 
5. Moat Monsters
6. Misfits
7. Look Ma, No Hands (Tiebreaker over White Joggers was Head 2 Head)
8. White Joggers (Tiebreaker over Kick in a Box was # of wins)

9. Kick in a Box (Tiebreaker over Retired Athletes was Goals Allowed)
10. Retired Athletes
11. PKs and IPAs
12. Hangover 86 FC
13. Defenders of the Bridge
14. Hot and Messi
15. All Bark, No Bite
16. Biercelona (ineligible for the playoffs - moved to 16 seed and will have #9 seed auto-advance in lower bracket playoffs)

A 5 way tie from the 7 seed to the 11 seed made for some interesting discussions between Brent and I as he guided me through the CLUBWAKA tie-breaker procedure. At multiple different times, I thought - Kick in a Box is #8, wait... White Joggers is number 8. Wait... how did Retired Athletes get up here so fast? So. Much. Drama.


Jennie Grayson - First goal on a corner kick -- near post run with a gorgeous flick against the #1 seed.  I'd say that's memorable.

Erin Weniger - Another first timer on the score sheet.  A player that gets better every season and still doesn't have a pair of cleats.  :)

Vick Rojas - A mainstay for Foot Works last season and has been a key figure in the rise of All Stars this season.  Bagged a goal this week against White Joggers.

Karina Ruelas - Of all the players on Hangover, Karina was the closest to scoring with a little looper over Jay's head that was pushed against the crossbar.  Outside of that close call, she was all over the field for the 86ers.

Cristina Genoese-Zerbi - First goal.  Ballin' out for the #2 seed.

Erica Rice - Struggled on this one as Kathy White and Erica both played the whole game for DOTB and played extremely well in their loss to Biercelona.  But then I remembered that prior to the start of games on Sunday, there was no TP in the port-o-john and Erica saved the day.  TP Tiebreaker takes her to Team of the Week!  

Brittany Hull - Retired Athletes winning streak coming close to coinciding with Brittany joining the team?  Interesssssssting....


I tried two things this week.  I tried to score goals, but the more I tried the more I shanked.  Then I tried to motivate Davin by calling him out for not coming to enough games.  All that did was make him catch me so now I don't even have second place.  Meanwhile, Tom keeps coasting, whistling, and pushing for the double-dime.  Looks like he's all but secured the golden boot.

One thing I always find interesting is looking at goal scorers by team.  Most high scoring teams have two or three strikers bagging goals - See Davin and Trey, Chris and Callum, and me/Machie/Dara, but if you look back across the last three seasons - Tom does this every season for Oozlekicks.  And yet we can't seem to stop him.  Will Misfits be able to stop him this week?  Will Davin, Burleson, or I go crazy bonkers on the scoresheet and miraculously lift the Golden Boot?  Doubtful but Liverpool came back from a 3-0 deficit to win 4-3 on aggregate, so don't count us out.


Brad Kirby's Selections
Isaiah Reynolds of Biercelona keeps one out against Defenders of the Bridge on Sunday.

Chris Sharrett lines up a volley for PKs and IPAs as Netkicks looks on.

Markis Augustus levitates to secure the ball while Mark Halverson of PKs and IPAs is mesmerized by his ups.

Allison Yang serves up a corner for Hangover 86. 

Cheer as a team, play like a team.  Oozlekicks gets fired up before the game.

Matthew Carpenter of White Joggers chips one in.

Chaos ensues as Kory Kulzer goes down in the box in front of Joe Ingraham and Brian Diamond of Look Ma, No Hands.

Vick Rojas of All Stars 86 FC heads to goal.

Supposed to be a gorgeous day in the mid-80s.  Stick around and watch some playoff soccer and then get some post-MLS pie and a brew over at Oozlefinch. Flame and Pie will be out there.  

ALL OF THEM!  It's the PLAYOFFS, you dum dum!

First games are on Field A and are the top bracket. Second games on field B and bottom bracket.

12 PM (4 vs 5 games)
All Stars vs Moat -- If I had to pick a top bracket game of the week, this would be it. All Stars beat Moat earlier in the season and Moat beat Foot Works twice at the end of the Fall, so this is turning into a biiiiiit of a rivalry.

Hangover vs DOTB -- Hangover has had a bit of a hangover from the Fall, but look to make a run at the cup. Meanwhile, DOTB are going to be fueled by Lionsbridge's win over Virginia Beach on Tuesday so I have a feeling this one may be closer than we think.

1 PM (2 vs 7 games)
Netkicks vs Look Ma - Netkicks won earlier this season 4-3 and Look Ma will be looking for some serious revenge. This will be a battle of two solid defenses. I'm guessing this will be decided on offensive firepower -- will it be Calli and Scott making the difference or Brendan and Daryl?
Retired Athletes vs All Bark No Bite - a rematch of week 7. Can ABNB get their first win of the season and spoil Retired Athletes two game winning streak?

2 PM (1 vs 8 games)
Ronaldo vs White Joggers - Ronaldo McDonaldo leads the league in goals scored and has the fewest goals allowed. White Joggers comes in on a 3 game losing streak. You'd think this one is sewn up, but don't count out the Joggers who started the season really strong. Meanwhile, Ronaldo McDonaldo is aging as we speak.

Kick in a Box vs Biercelona - this one is a foregone conclusion, but Ryan O'Donnell and KiaB look to recharge their offense and build some momentum going into Round 2 against the winner of Hangover and DOTB. But Biercelona - they ain't going out like that (they ain't goin out).

3 PM (3 vs 6 games)
Oozle vs Misfits - This would have been my game of the week, but rumor has it Misfits is dealing with some injuries. That being said, I have confidence that Adam will have them talking $*** and playing dirty come Sunday, so while I'd say they're favored, I wouldn't move Oozlekicks forward yet.
PKs and IPAs vs Hot and Messi - This is my lower bracket game of the week if Hot and Messi has their squad show. I honestly think they could put together a run. But stopping Mark Halverson and Chris Sharrett ain't easy. Think this one could be a squeaker. Or even better -- go to PKs!

So much can be said about these games that hasn't been talked about already -- players that will make a difference, individual match-ups, key injuries and absences, predictions, biggest soccer crushes, best dressed.  One of you should totally do that, but I'm all out of words sooo....

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Wednesday, May 15, 2019

CLUBWAKA Spring Bowling - Standings Update

As we head into the last week of the regular season, let's take a look at the current standings:

Bowling Standings:
Spring 2019 Bowling Standings (through Week 5)
With 14 teams this season, the Top 7 will compete for the Domestic Beer Trophy and the Bottom 7 will compete for the Cup Trophy!
The Top 5 Teams have consistently been in the top tier all season. The remaining two slots in the top tier has most often been held by the current 6th and 7th place teams. However, the difference between current 7th place (Livin' On A Spare) and 8th place (Spare Me) is only 80 pins... and 9th place (Split Happens) is only 10 pins behind that!

Rules and Playoff Procedure:
9. Playoffs
  1. The playoffs will take place over two weeks of games under the same gameplay and scoring rules as the regular season.
  2. At the end of the regular season, the teams will be divided in half based on standings.
  3. The top half will compete for one trophy with the bottom half competing for a different trophy under the same playoff format.
  4. The winners of the two trophies will be determined by the highest Team Pin Totals combining the scores from both weeks of playoffs (four games).

Challenge Standings:
Spring 2019 Weekly Team Challenge Standings (through Week 5)
The Weekly Team Challenge scores will continue through Championship Weekend as a season long total to determine the winner. Spare Wars: A New Rack has been the most consistent team earning points every week - so it's not a surprise to see them holding down the top spot. However, when Spare Trek: Rack of Khan participates, they usually earn multiple points and would easily be able to take over the lead. And with only nine points separating the Top 5, it really is anyone's to take!

Reminder: There is NO league bowling Memorial Day Weekend (5/26)... however, if you are going to be in town, CLUBWAKA has you covered!

PBR Happy Hour
Image may contain: stripes
Let's get your Memorial Day Weekend kicked off right with a great Friday Happy Hour at PBR Hampton (1976 Power Plant Pkwy, Hampton, Virginia 23666)! Guests will enjoy 50% off drinks, and FREE appetizers. Because it's the season, come decked out in your best patriotic gear and a few of the best dressed will win PBR gift cards!
You do not need to be a current CLUBWAKA member to join us. Just check in with us when you get to the bar. We'll be set up at the 'blue bar' (back bar behind the mechanical bull and DJ).

Summer Registration
CLUBWAKA Summer Bowling League is OPEN for registration!
Sundays at *6:00pm* at Sparetimes in Hampton
- Start Date: July 7
-- Open Play: June 30 (more details to come!)
- Playoffs: Aug 18
- Championship: Aug 25
Price: $89 (through June 30)

You can also check out all the CLUBWAKA activities available this summer at:!

#WAKAWednesday - Week 4 Recap

Pumped Up Kicks might be last in the standings,but they have more Blazin' Reward points than anyone.


I wasn't there. The end.

jk. jk. jk. Although I wasn't there, I have some sources (aka the shout out thread inside the Facebook group) so I'll do a quick and dirty recap and preview this week's upcoming games. 


The last time these two teams squared off, 'Springa dropped 16 runs on them in a mercy shortened game. But that was several weeks ago and this time, PUK managed to make it a little closer. This was not only the highest number of runs the Kicks have scored this season, but it's also tied for the least amount of runs they've allowed. Baby steps, but progress is being made by the least experienced squad in the league. 


These two teams battled to a 0-0 draw in week 3, which lead to me joking that the Over/Under for this game was set to 0.5. And for four innings, it looked like the Under was going to win the bet as they were scoreless until a sacrifce fly brought home Casey Heck (from 2nd if I recall correctly) to break the tie and earn the 'W'. 


F3B maintained control of first place at the midway point of the season with a commanding performance against Pumped Up. "Shout out to Pumped in this game," head ref Bryan Koscielny said afterward, "Definitely a huge improvement from week 1!" 


This was a tight game, until it wasn't a tight game. The wheels fell off late in the game and the normally tight 'Springa defense made some uncharacteristic mistakes. Mistakes that you can not make against a veteran squad like the Jelly and expect to have success. 



RUMSPRINGA (3-2-1) vs BOOS ON FIRST (1-3-2)

These two teams battled to a 3-3 tie in week 1. With both of them jockeying for position at the bottom half of the table, this game is a good test. BOF Captain Peter Murray will not be in attendance, but per his request, this game will be streaming live on CLUBWAKA's Facebook page so he can watch from the craps tables in Vegas.

PBJT (5-1-1) vs F3B (5-1) 

The battle for first place! If F3B can get the win over the streaking PBJT, they'll put themselves firmly in control of the top seed during the stretch run.


The Kicks will be looking to continue their improvement with a match up against 4th placed Boos On First. Boos On First needs this win to help stay in the mix for the 3 seed.

RUMSPRINGA (3-2-1) vs F3B (5-1)

Tough double header for 'Springa in Week 5 sees them matched up with the top two teams in the league. F3B will be looking for a measure of revenge against the only team to hand them an L this spring.


Support our sponsor bar, BUFFALO WILD WINGS! We have 10% off food, $7 pitchers, and $3.50 tall drafts plus the Blazin' Rewards program! Sports on TV tonight include:

  • NBA Eastern Conference Finals Game 1: Toronto @ Milwaukee
  • NHL West Finals Game 3: San Jose @ St. Louis
  • Plenty of MLB Games

Summer draft league is open for registration: Sign up at

Our first charity Sand Kickball Tournament is on June 8th at the Virginia Beach Oceanfront. F3B already has 2 teams entered! Who else will be joining them? Full details and to join visit:

CLUBWAKA had a ton of other great leagues and events open for registration now, including volleyball, cornhole, bowling, softball, and more. Be sure to check them all out at

Get Memorial Day Weekend off to a good start by joining us at PBR Hampton for 50% drinks, FREE wings, chicken wraps, chips & salsa, mozz sticks, and other delicious appetizers. Come dressed in your best Red, White, and Blue gear and a couple of winners will receive gift cards to PBR: RSVP on Facebook:

That's all I got this week. See you tonight for another great evening of #WAKAWEDNESDAY!

- Brent