Week Whatever: Gambling Whatevers

Classic Ball Tongue.

I’ve got a back up plan for my back up plan, to back up my back up plan.

5 O’Clockers (-1.0) over That Just Happened

The 5OC are a team that has a quality back up at every position.  Despite this, they still let Brent pitch sometimes!  At every position there is a quality player ready to step in and get the job done, which is why they get the one run advantage over a strong TJH team.  I just started thinking about the 5 O’Clockers Emily Cook backing it up and lost my plan for this post…

Foul Balls (-1.0) over Dirty Mike and the Boyz

Andy Doye had a back up plan after suffering through a series of defeats as a member of the Foul Balls.  Little did he know, he was the Foul Balls back up plan as they waited for their Air Force soccer hooligan consortium to land at War Memorial this season.  The Foul Balls have taken off in the spring season have already Toppled Dirty Mike’s photoshop monopoly this week. 

Misfits (-1.5) over Chicken Tetrazzini

This is my favorite use of a Misfits song ever (it’s worth 7 minutes of your time, I swear):

The moral of the story?  If you’re going to have a WoW funeral, better have a back up plan.  My funeral plan includes the Redskins cheerleaders streaming down the aisles to Bombs over Baghdad following my rolling casket.  But don’t plan a funeral for the Angry Birds just yet!  They scored their first win of the season last week and they’re hungry for more. 

Who’s Driving Home? (-4.5) over New Kickheads

On a serious note, it’s always best to have a back up plan and know who is driving home from any WAKA event.  If all else fails, take the Misfits’ Rob Kroll back up plan and walk home, with a layover at Cookout.  Against the New Kickheads, Captain Brian Neal may finally be able to rest Amelia Harveycutter’s back up at third base, whose only real job is to hold her back and possibly sedate her in the 4^th inning of a close game.  It won’t be close this week as WDH will peel out of the parking lot with another W.

Pop Pop (-3.5) over Battlestar Ballsacktica

The Battlestar Galatica turned into a back up plan for humanity after the devastating Cylon assault.  The Ballsacks better be making similar plans this week as Pop Pop comes back angry after a crushing defeat at the hands of Free Ballin’. 

Moose Knuckles vs. Kick Ass: Pick ‘Em

Unlike Marilee Columbus, I don’t need any blogging back ups or “guest writers”.  I’m 100% original, straight from my foggy, slightly deranged mind to your computer screen.  Marilee teaches preschool and I teach middle school….obviously I have a more difficult day job, yet I still manage to pump out gold on a week to week basis.  (I kid because I love, I win because I hate.) The league will have to decide who has more worth as a human being and educator by picking the winner of this kickball game.

Pop Pop (-4.0) over Foul Balls

If things don’t go as planned for either team in the first half of the doubleheader, then their back up plan will be to win this showdown.  The Foul Balls had better make a back up plan for their back up plan.  Just ask Big Boi (who I suspect may actually be Dennis Gholson), he’s doing just fine without Andre 3000.

Free Ballin’ (-1.0) over Rumspringa

Free Ballin’ proved last week that they were deep enough to score a marquee win by using a back up pitching staff in the absence of All-Peninsula hurler Mark Flores.  They will probably need his magic back on the mound to topple a surging Rumspringa squad in the marquee primetime matchup.

PBJ (-5.5) over Chubby Gangsters

PBJ is going to win this game.  I have the sneaking suspicion that Eric Schessel is WAKA Peninsula’s back up plan for me when I inevitably burn out young because of this horribly unhealthy life I live.  Eric, I have two specific requests for you when you take my place.  1) Make Brent cut-off those jeans.  2) Make gambling lines that everyone in the league will agree with.