Week 8 Gambling Lines

Godspeed you silly man.

My students took their SOL test today.  To commemorate their efforts in crushing the exam, I present to the kickball community a multiple choice test which none shall pass!  There will be Kickballers Left Behind (Sorry W.).  In order to receive your free beer this week, you must not only pick seven games correctly, but you must also score over 55% on this exam.  Sharpen your #2 pencils and get to work.

Free Ballin’ (-10.5) over New Kickheads on the Block

David Baum is:

a)      Doug Gottlieb

b)      “The Baumer”

c)       The man behind the leg behind the walk-off blast to defeat Rumspringa 4-3 in Week 7.

d)      My 17^th man-crush in the WAKA VA Peninsula.

Five O’Clockers (-4.5) over the Foul Balls

Since my departure the Foul Balls have:

a)      Become infinitely better at kickball.

b)      Turned to Andreas Beyersdorf for spiritual guidance.

c)       Benched Wade Brock.

d)      Become more fun and finally turned into a “social” team.

Rumspringa (-4.5) over Who’s Driving Home

A Rumspringa victory this week will be:

a)      Not (Alex) Child’s play.

b)      A precursor of things to come later that evening in karaoke.

c)       Not happening because Who’s Driving Home is Matt Wellbrock’s UPSET SPECIAL of the week!

d)      Just like death and taxes.

Kick Ass (-3.5) over Chubby Gangsters

Buster Patterson’s last WAKA Wednesday will end with:

a)      Keith Morehart and Buster sobbing in one another’s arms slow dancing to the Twilight love theme under the War Memorial JumboTron as the stadium lights slowly shut off.

b)      Buster being Buster…which either means kicking a walk-off grand slam or giving up a walk off grand slam.

c)       The Redskins winning the Super Bowl (somehow).

d)      Buster motoring off into the sunset in a CG blue customized Coast Guard cutter…and then Buster showing up Sunday at Brickhouse as if nothing special happened.

Moose Knuckles (-3.0) over Peanut Butter Jelly Time

In order to gain some respect from the old, grumpy and biased league elite, Peanut Butter Jelly Time must:

a)      Defeat Moose Knuckles by 12…13…better make it 15 runs.

b)      Allow Brent Obershaw to stop holding back his emotions during games.

c)       Just win baby.

d)      Change their name to the Jagernauts.

That Just Happened (-4.5) over Dirty Mike and the Boyz

A matchup between two phrases from Will Ferrell movies:

a)      Shows ours collective age.

b)      Shows our collective mental age.

c)       Is already outdated.

d)      Is going to come down to who can shout catch phrases faster and louder.

Moose Knuckles (-6.5) over Chubby Gangsters

Memorial Day is a day:

a)            For Jesse Jones to work on his base tan for the summer.

b)            A holiday to alert teachers that the school year is almost over.

c)            A day to celebrate America’s greatest heroes, our departed veterans.

d)            A day when Jeremy Edge celebrated not making the most insensitive Facebook comment of the day.

Battlestar Ballsacktica (-2.5) over The Misfits

Karen Savell’s blogs: Nathaniel Johnson’s blogs :: Battlestar Ballsacktica: ___________

a)      The 1969 Amazin’ New York Mets

b)      The 1985 Chicago Bears

c)       The Meatballs

d)      The 1992 Dream Team

Pop Pop (-7.5) over Chicken Tetrazzini

Pop Pop derived their team name from:

a)       The character Magnitude on the vastly underrated show Community.

b)      What George Michael has in the attic on the vastly underrated show Arrested Development.

c)       The first words Alex Noctor spoke as an infant.

d)      The name was supposed to be just “Pop”, but Dom Smith had a Shirley Temple before filing the paperwork at the league office and wasn’t sure he spelled it correctly, so he wrote “Pop Pop”.

The test key will be provided tomorrow afternoon.  Good luck! (I don’t mean it) I hope you liked this week’s gambling lines! (I really don’t mean it)  I look forward to seeing everyone tomorrow night! (I definitely don’t mean it)