Raptor Week 1 Gambling Lines

For the winter season our heroic yet vastly overworked Commissioner has ceded the essential weekly Ghostman on Third feature to the most trusted typing fingers in the league. Allow me to provide a brief introduction prior to the Week 1 (fake) gambling lines. I operate in the WAKA world under my assumed identity, Jorts Johnson. I am a universally beloved kickballer and never has a single disparaging word been uttered to challenge my impeccable reputation. Also, I am in public education, so you can definitely trust me with your money.

If you correctly pick five out of six games I will give you an enthusiastic high five and direct you to Wade Brock for your free pitcher of beer. In addition, there will be an auxiliary Over/Under line which relates to the important social component of WAKA Peninsula kickball provided at the conclusion of each post.

This will be a difficult process given the team shuffling that has produced new names and faces....the Vegas veterans who have scoured all nine shuffled rosters should have a field day. As the season wears on, the spreads will undoubtedly become more...um...spread out. Beside each team you will find their overall odds for taking home the top prize in the winter season and the line for the match up will be provided after a brief preview.

Foot Snipers (4:1) vs. All Up In The Bunt (10:1)

This is already far more difficult than I anticipated. I don't recognize many names on either roster, but this could be more of a reflection of my crippling inability to make friends or casual acquaintances. This week's lines may quickly devolve into who has the more badass name....Foot Snipers (-3.5)

Chubby Gangsters (10:1) vs. Whiskey Kick (6:1)

It's going to be really difficult to ignore a quality team name like Whiskey Kick, but objectivity is the name of the game here. The Gangsters nearly pulled off the biggest upset in Peninsula tournament history in their fall campaign after a lackluster regular season, but will the almighty mo' follow them into the chilly depths of winter? Whiskey Kick appears to be some unholy offspring of a drunken night's philandering Amish adolescents and astronauts that enjoy Jagermeister. Both of these squads had solid Fall seasons and bring a wealth of experience to the table, but will their incestuous lineup be able to take their eyes off one another long enough to kick? I believe they can focus enough to fend off a dangerous Gang of Chubbies. Whiskey Kick (-2.5)

I imagine this is how Whiskey Kick was conceived.

Frosty Ballin' (5:1) vs. Kick Ass (7:1)

By the looks of their lineup, Frosty has been kickballin' for quite some time. Frosty Ballin' has collected a veteran squad of players who are no strangers to the Peninsula league and are familiar with how to win. My new squad, Kick Ass, enters the Winter season with a wealth of athletic ability (author excluded), one season under their belts and high expectations. Captain Manny Anderson has been whipping his team into shape during the short preseason and has his eyes on making the leap to the elite level of Peninsula kickball. Slight edge to Ballin' in what should be an entertaining contest.

Frosty Ballin' (-2.0)

Peninsula Pounders (3:2) vs. Just For Kicks (2:1)

Wow. Those in the front office responsible for scheduling provided Winter Raptor with an early marquee match up that should attract the attention of the rest of the league. The Pounders have recruited an embarrassment of riches in kickball talent to already stout lineup. Bryan Freed will have to work his magic quickly to adjust on the fly to fill holes left in his lineup. There was heavy action in Vegas when this game was announced as a pick 'em, but the line has moved as the wise guys now believe that the Pounders will take a cue from our 41st president and attack the Raptor league with shock and awe. Peninsula Pounders (-1.5)

I have seen the future of our league...and it ain't pretty.

Foul Balls (50:1) vs. Chubby Gangsters (10:1)

This game will feature two squads who played a ridiculous entertaining, if sloppy, 8-7 nail biter late in the Fall season. Both teams had extremely trying seasons. The Foul Balls inexplicably chose to extend the contract of Wade Brock, which will hurt them every week in this column, as well as on the field, in the bar, at home, on vacation, and in bed. As noted earlier, the Gangbangers are coming off an impressive upset bid in the Fall tourney and I believe they may have been the first full team registered for the winter season, showcasing an impressive enthusiasm. Foul Balls will be trying to integrate new pieces into their roster, while the Gangsters are returning a dedicated core. Will I abuse my new responsibilities to provide the Foul Balls with the Vegas love I coveted so dearly in my two seasons there? Do Andreas Beyersdorf's 49ers have a prayer this weekend? The answer to both is no.

Chubby Gangsters (-5.5)

Frosty Ballin' (5:1) vs. Whiskey Kick (6:1)

As noted above, these are two squads feature a motley crew of veteran kickballers. It will be interesting to see how both gel and strategically arrange their lineups for the condensed winter season (has this been said enough now?). Wendy's Frosties (-3.0)

Over/Under on how many players will make the midnight photo Saturday night: 6.5