Ghostman on Third: Bar Buzz Week 5, Spring 2012: Kickball Karaoke Take 2

"Ohhhh oh, we're halfway there. Ohhh OHHHH, living on a prayer."

Well folks, here we stand atop a precipice. A theoretical "fork in the road', if you will. And much like Walt Whitman, Robert Frost and other grossly misquoted American Authors... You have a choice to make. Will you take the path of least resistance or resist much and obey little? It could in fact, make all the difference for your future hopes of images of gleaming gold and cheap leather beaming from your profile picture. Afterall, once your wandering eyes reach the end of this column you will only have 4 brief, but sweet, chances to go down in WAKA Pen Div infamy.

In this, Week 5, only our second annual showing of Kickball Karaoke, several of you made a choice. And this (not so careful) decision (for some of you) was two fold: 1. Pick awesomely bad songs to sing, choreograph, and/or wobble to and 2. Don neon green and/or pink headbands, leg warmers, scrunchies, shoulder pads, hair extensions, tank tops and spice it up with terrifically rad gold chains, over the top sunglasses and whatever cheap accessories you could get your hands on at Goodwill or Big Lots. But what's even more outstanding than your dutiful decision making was the resulting epicness that is WAKA Wednesday. Let's recap...
There was flip cup:

There was dancing:

There were ridiculous blonde wigs:

And there was Body Gear:

What there wasn't was there was a clear Bar Buzz winner. But instead of taking the typical modern day Soccer coach approach and giving us all a trophy (this exact same thing happened the last time we sang Karaoke together btw) we're gonna get down and dirty with the real scores. Sooooo lessssss gooooo! (Warning: we have never before released this super, secret, highly formulated, scores. Consider yourselves lucky).

Rare Sitting: More than 2 Kickers in just one spot!

16. Just For Kicks 3.38: JFK brought some of their most impressive numbers to date this week but unfortunately the "Dead Kennedys" aren't the only ones who dig the 80s.

15. Free Ballin 3.5: The average age of this team's roster would indicate that they just might know a little something about the 80s. Unfortunately they only brought their usual game to the bar to this week's rodeo, so no dice. Perhaps they'll have better luck if Tom Petty's Free Fallin' had come into the scene a little earlier.

14. Just Kickin'-It 3.63: This week we saw some of our first recorded late night JKI sightings... could they finally be making their way out of the woods and into the spotlight?

13. Burning Bridges 3.88: Here's the problem with this week... even when you're impressive, you can't even get into the top 10. Burning was actually pros at mingling this week, but they lacked the costume competition that the top teams had on lock down.

NKOTB Hanging Tough

12. New Kickheads on the Block 4.25: NKOTB should have won this one (for obvious reasons) but their numbers just haven't been what they used to be. Reunion tour?

11. Chubby Gangsters 4.88: Looks like the Deputy Commisioner's fake cheap clock is just keeping time... Date: June 6th, 9:30pm. Location: Luckie's Dueling Pianos. Mission: Obtain Keith Morehart's 29th Birthday Present.

9. 5 O'Clockers & Kick Ass 5.13: The Clockers brought the duds and KA brought the numbers but in the end they couldn't gain the necessary momentum. Who says it's just Love that's a Battlefield?

Ballsacks? or Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo???

6. Shake N Bake, Moose Knuckles & Battlestar Ballsacktica 5.75 (by the way, I never said our scoring system was flawless): SNB had some impressive numbers and the Ballsacks brought some of the most ridiculous costumes we've ever seen. Through in some MK mingling and you've got the perfect recipe. Now which one of these teams can cook up enough momentum on their own?

5. Peanut Butter Jelly Time 6: This is perhaps one of the most impressive scores in our rankings this week. People expect all of the remaining top 5 players (all have one a belt {Rum is only on win #25,000 at least} and all of them are consistently in our top 10 - if not top 5) but this week PBJ really stepped up their game. They've still got 4 weeks to make their entrance to the top... can they bring the whole league to their feet while they shout "It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time"??? Ummm... Probably not. But they could possibly win the belt at the very least.

It's PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

4. Rumspringa 6.25: There's not much you can't say about Rum's performance this week except that well, it's not a top 3 performance. That's not to say the Smurfs didn't bring their A game and were outperformed in every category {yep, I can hear Brian Yohn now. "oh okay, Trici Fredrick"}

Will next week bring the Angry Birds
their coveted prize??

3. Chicken Tetrazinni 6.63: Some of you might be wondering why and/or how the Angry Birds were out fouled and Jager bombed (see what I did there??) this week... wellll if you must know: This week Bird's weren't much for flip cupping. And that my friends, made all the difference.

2. Foul Balls 6.75: In typical Foulie fashion, our boys (and girls) in green went harder and faster than an even worse Paul Walker sequel. And in any other week, this strategy for a double championship win might have paid off but the Jager's had better moves than Jagger and finally brought home a W.

1. Jagernauts 7.25: Yes they dominated the flip cup table (both of them in fact). Yes they rocked the mic. Yes Kevin Gitkos passed out in the fetal position (although all you avid readers should know by now that this happens at least once a season). But really, ultimately it was the combination of participation (both in numbers and in costume oh....and karaoke!), mingling, longevity, and dancing that finally brought those kids in 'Urple to the top.