WEEK 3 - STRANGER THINGS
A red card. Look Ma is 0 and 3. All Stars are 0-1-2. 4 ties out of 9 games. 3 significant blowouts by Hangover, PKs and IPAs, and Misfits. Ronaldo ties Oozlekicks after Brad Kirby and Kaylee Pearce hit the post/crossbar in the same play. Ryan Bass of Motherlovers scores a tying goal with no time left against Netkicks. Correy Borelli of Kick in a Box thinks he's playing in the Bizarro MLS and slide tackles someone in the box. Mike Dunlevy's keys go missing. There was nothing left for the Lost and Found.
Honestly, it wouldn't have surprised me if a Demogorgon showed up in a time traveling phone booth, ran on the field with Socrates and they scored on a given and go, and then ate Cory Hirsch washing him down with an Oozlefinch Lady in White.
The week was bonkers.
The week was bonkers.
HOUSEKEEPING
3. Thank you thank you thank you to all those that volunteered for TOPSoccer last week. Always such a great program and it's nice to see so many CLUBWAKA faces willing to volunteer their time to give back to the community.
4. For two years, I've thought... CLUBWAKA MLS could put together one bitchin' kickball team. WELL, HERE COMES SOME AWESOME VOLUNTEERS TO TEST MY THEORY. Adam Frantz of Misfits and Jamie Chard of Look Ma, No Hands have joined forces to recruit CLUBWAKA MLS talent for the CLUBWAKA Kicks Cancer Charity Tournament on October 19th. They're still looking for players and are willing to put together two teams if they get enough interest. It's a super fun tournament and all the proceeds go to Sentara Cancer Network to directly support cancer patients through prescriptions, transportation and other support programs. If you're interesting in having some fun and trying something new, hit up Adam or Jamie on Facebook or let me know and I'll get you in touch with them. Thanks Adam and Jamie!!!!
WEEK 3 RESULTS AND STANDINGS
All Stars Football Club vs. Moat Monsters
Whenever All Stars and Moat meet, it's always a battle. This one was a tale of two halves. All Stars came out strong and it looked like they were going to coast to a win. Vick Rojas set up shop in goal and did a great job for ASFC. Matt Kennedy knocked in a couple and Dylan Young put them up 3-0. Halftime came and went and Moat started to put pressure on. The game escalated a bit physically and it culminated with a red card from Anderson Rojas when the game was 3-2. Moat saw an opportunity with All Stars down a man and with only a few minutes left, Moat knocked in the tying goal.
Joe McCalla tried to block a Matt Burleson blast..
All Stars 3 - 3 Moat Monsters
Netkicks and Chill vs. Motherlovers
After ML's blowout of Hangover last week, I thought this one was a foregone conclusion, but every season I underestimate Netkicks and Chill. And sure enough, I did again. Brendan Fajotina has a beautiful volley screamer in the upper 90 in the first half. Netkicks led most of the game. Kayson Bell provided the firepower for Motherlovers throughout most of the game, but that wasn't enough. Finding itself down 4-3 in the waning seconds, Ryan Bass of Motherlovers provided a clutch finish to earn the team a point.
Kyoko Runner of Motherlovers hits a cross in before Sam Huffman of Netkicks can get there.
Final - Netkicks and Chill 4 - 4 Motherlovers
Ronaldo McDonaldo vs. Oozlekicks
Going into this one, we knew it was going to be a back and forth battle with chances for each team. A new addition to the team this season, Kaylee Pearce has proven to be a significant free agent signing. Scoring both goals for Ronaldo including a beauty of a chip over Jay Coble, she WAS Ronaldo's offense on the day. Similar to Kaylee, Dennis Zollicoffer scored both goals for Oozlekicks. The first was a a long dribbling run that ended up with Dennis beating a defender on the endline to finish past Brandon Silver. The second was created by Jay McCormick, who again beat a Ronaldo defender on the endline and hit the ball across the 6 for Dennis to finish. The game ended with a through ball from Ben Becouvarakis to Brad Kirby who was wide open just outside of the 6. He turned to an aggressive Jay Coble coming off his line. Jay got big and blocked what should have been an easy finish for the Commish. One of a bouquet of saves from the former Hands of God winner.
Adam Smith heads a ball clear for Oozlekicks.
Final - Ronaldo McDonaldo 2 - 2 Oozlekicks
PKs and IPAs vs. Defenders of the Bridge
PKs dominated an undermanned (and underwomanned) DOTB squad on Sunday. With Christina Race and Melissa Kerr having to play the whole game and DOTB only have one guy sub, they knew it was going to be tough going in. From what I've seen thus far this season, PKs and IPAs is a sleeper to make a run in the MLS Cup playoffs. While Chris Sharrett is generally their main goalscoring threat, this one had them spreading the wealth with Kindle Timberlake and Callum Sutherland each bagging a brace. IPAs leaving defenses pale thus far this season.
Erik Halvorsen clears one out of the box for PKs and IPAs while Christina Race provides pressure.
Final - PKs and IPAs 10 - 0 Defenders of the Bridge
Look Ma No Hands vs. Misfits
Thought this was going to be the write up of all write ups this week with all the build up trash talking between the two teams. But this one was DOA with most of Look Ma's defense no-showing for the game. As we mention every week, the offensive firepower of Misfits is impressive but this one was as lopsided as a MacGregor soccer ball. Davin Field missed the first two games, but came back at full speed for this one with 5 goals and some real golazos from distance.
Note: Calli Sherrill is also very good at keeper, apparently.
Chad Martin of Look Ma hits a cross past Lee Craig of Misfits.
Misfits 10 - 0 Look Ma No Hands
Hangover 86 FC vs. UnAtletico Monroe
Hangover's offense rebounded this week vs. UnderManned Monroe putting up a 8-spot and keeping them in the top 9. Two hat tricks from Blake Thompson and Simie Iriarte led the team with Tyler Bergthold finishing off the ocho. Anastisiia Romanova had a great finish as UAM's only goal for the day. Hangover has Netkicks next week and UAM has Hot & Messi. Will be interesting to see if Hangover has a.. ummm.. second Hangover this season after their second win. UAM's game with Hot & Messi will probably play a significant role in both team's aspirations for a top 9 finish. Stay tuned.
Blake Thompson of Hangover winds up a shot on goal.
Final - Hangover 86 FC 8 - 1 UnAtletico Monroe
Kick in a Box vs. I Think We Can Do Better
Kick in a Box had the advantage in the run of play as Matt Epperly and Chase Cali scored three. But the KiaB defense gave up two PKs that ruined their chances of earning their first win. Baylen McCarthy, Gabe Fricke, and Matt Engleson scored for the second consecutive week for ITWCDB who currently sit in 7th place, which is amazing for a team that took one a bunch of free agents and have a roster of 19.
Correy Borrelli with the definition of a slide tackle in the box against I Think We Can Do Better.
Final - Kick in a Box 3 - 3 I Think We Can Do Better
Rebel Alliance vs. Soccer, I Hardly Know 'Er
Two names you should look out for and stay around to watch -- Ryan Greene of Soccer I Hardly Know 'Er who currently has 8 goals in two games and Gerardo Aguilar Castillo who had 6 in 3. This one was a back and forth affair with Rebel Alliance being able to lock it down in the closing seconds to hold on to the lead. Sarah Staley of SIHKE has had sick goals as well. Both of these teams were assumed to be solid entrants in the League 2 Cup playoffs, but both may make a push for the top 9.
Sub!
Final - Rebel Alliance 6 - 5 Soccer I Hardly Know 'Er
Retired Athletes vs. Hot & Messi
Hot and Messi went up 2-0 in the first half on an O'Neill Vergara bomb from behind half field that beat Retired Athletes' keeper. I walked away at that point thinking that Hot and Messi was going to continue their hot streak and get to 3-0, all but securing their place in the top 9. But apparently, Retired Athletes offense woke up in the second half and they rallied to a 3-2 lead. With the end of the game closing and RA scrambling to lock up the win, O'Neill Vergara hit another long bomb on goal only to be saved out of the upper corner by the outstretched hand of RA's Sydney Smith. Great great finish and a huge comeback for RA.
O'Neill Vergara clears one out of the back for Hot and Messi.
Final - Retired Athletes 3 - 2 Hot & Messi
Misfits sit alone at the top of the table at 3-0 after a week o' ties. They're leading in both Goals Against and Goals For with a whopping +15 goal differential. Looking like they're the MLS's Man City this season with everyone else playing for 2nd place.
TEAM OF THE WEEK - WEEK 3
Davin Field - Missed two games. Must have been in the shooting range. 5 goals.
Blake Thompson - It was a goal explosion for Hangover and Blake netted the Hat Trick.
Ryan Bass - Last second goal to claim a point for Motherlovers.
Matt Kennedy - A brace to put All Stars in the lead early.
Kindle Timberlake - Knocked in a couple in PKs and IPAs blow out of DOTB.
Kaylee Pearce - When you score two on Jay Coble and one is a floating chip, you're definitely making TOTW.
Sarah Staley - A couple of goals for Soccer I Hardly Know 'Er and has been a real threat for them all season.
Chase Cali - A couple of goals even though he generally plays in the back for KiaB to give KiaB their first point of the season.
O'Neill Vergara - Scored from over half field in the first half and almost had another one late in the second half.
Evan Leung - Locked down the defense late for Rebel Alliance to save the win 6-5.
Jay Coble - Just ridiculous. Ronaldo had about 20 shots and Jay was standing on his head making saves including a 1:1 late to save the tie.
PHOTOS OF THE WEEK
Brad Kirby's Selections
Lisa Neri, Ryan Bass, and JP McCollum show of their new Motherlovers threads.
Brendan Fajotina slams in a volley upper ninety past a jumping Ryan O'Donnell.
Andy Smith, Matt Kennedy, Joe McCalla and Columbus Harbison of All Stars mug for the camera.
Simie Iriarte of Hangover and Anastasiia Romanova of UnAtletico Monroe battle for a ball headed towards the sideline.
Players from Soccer I Hardly Know 'er and Rebel Alliance in an air battle on a corner.
Ryan O'Donnell's Faves
Jay Coble makes one of a multitude of saves on Sunday.
Lindsay Ingraham fires one at goal for Look Ma, No Hands.
PREPPING FOR RIVALRY WEEEEEEEK!
Ronaldo McDonaldo v. Moat Monsters:
One of the most intriguing matchups of Matchweek 4 is Ronaldo versus Moat. Two of the perennial powers meet in a marquee matchup that will have far reaching ramifications for the soon-to-be-frantic playoff push. Ronaldo leads the all time series with 3 regular season wins (Moat with zero) and wins in two of the three MLS postseasons. Moat’s only win over Ronaldo came in the inaugural championship game. We’ll see how this pans out, but look for the consistency of ronaldo to overcome the spotty if not shoddy attendance of moat in this midseason clash of the titans.
Look Ma versus Allstars FC:
I’m calling this the battle of the basement. The reigning champs and a very talented Allstars squad both find themselves reeling after a tough start to the season. Boasting the fourth and fifth hardest schedules (based on the BK soccer power index, sponsored by Burger King), both teams find themselves winless after a brutal start to the fall 2019 campaign. Look for each team to right the ship and put things together closer to October, Look Ma won the ‘ship last season as a 7-seed who came to the postseason battle tested and ready for revenge.
Soccer, I Hardly Knew ‘er versus I Think we can do Better:
Brad’s preseason blog indicates both teams share ancestral links with Catch me Offsides and All Bark, no Bite. Veeeeeeerrrrrry interesting. Let’s see if bad blood flows in this matchup of second cousins thrice-removed. The 2019 results give a slight edge to I Think we can do Better with a week 2 win against Rebel Alliance (4-3) compared to Soccer I Hardly Knew Her’s week 3 loss to Rebel Alliance (6-5). That being said, using rebel scum as the barometer has its own pitfalls, so I’m calling this one a toss up
Motherlovers versus Kick in a Box:
Rumor has it that Ryan O'donnell is going to play neutral center mid in a pinnie for whichever team has possession. Talk about a cop out. Kick in a Box has a knack for the upset boasting TWO wins over Look Ma out of three regular season meetings, a win over Moat Monsters, and ties against both Netkicks and Chill and Hangover 86. Don’t count KIB out until the last mother is loved.
Misfits v Oozlekicks:
The third meeting in two seasons sees a former division two champ against an improved Oozlekicks squad from last season. Misfits are flying high over their demolition of a toothless Look Ma (no hands and no teeth sounds miserable to me), Oozlekicks will look to knock misfits off the top of the table as the only team with 3 points out of 3 games. Misfits, ranked 6th in the preseason rankings (based on the BK soccer index, sponsored by Burger King) will for another win against a higher ranked team and put the league on watch in the process.
Hot and Messi versus Unatletico Monroe:
Don’t let H&M’s all time record of 3-18 fool you, their strength of schedule over three seasons includes the fourth, fourth, and first most difficult slates. Unatletico Monroe, the artist formerly known as Ibra Khadibra and later White Joggers, is a little more difficult to quantify. White jogger bested H&M last season 6-3, and H&M didn’t square off with the artist formerly known as Ibra Khadibra in fall 2018. Looking at this season, H&M fell to Retired Athletes 2-3 while Unatletico bested them 5-4. Look for this contest to be close with attendance possibly being the deciding factor.
PKs and IPAs versus Retired Athletes:
The 10th and 11th place finishers from last season square off in what could be a preview of the league 2 cup final. PKs only loss is a respectable 4-1 loss to Ronaldo in week 2, so a league 2 final might fall short of their expectations for the season. Retired Athletes have a win against an often overlooked Hot and Messi and respectable losses to Moat Monsters followed by Unatletico Monroe. Adding PKs to their list of victims will surely bolster their resume for the postseason.
Hangover 86 versus Netkicks and Chill:
Netkicks has been on the business end of a tough schedule that saw losses to Oozlekicks and Misfits before a tie with Motherlovers. Hangover was flying high after a surprise win against Allstars (2-1) to open the season, followed by an equally surprising thrashing by Motherlovers (0-6). They righted the ship with a lopsided win against Unatletico Monroe and will look to build momentum against a higher quality opponent in match week 4. I think these teams are more evenly matched than their records suggest, look for a close game with Hangover hungry to take the Hulu to Netkicks.
Rebel Alliance versus Defenders of the Bridge:
Rebel Alliance, sitting pretty at 9th and just above relegation to league two playoffs, look to bolster their 2-1-0 record against a much improved DOTB team. DOTB eeked out a 0-0 draw against I Think we Can do Better who then eeked out a 4-3 win against Rebel Alliance in week 2. Advantage DOTB. That being said, DOTB is still recovering from a lopsided loss against PKs and might not find their footing before Rebel Alliance seeks to move farther up the table.As another exciting year of
One of the most intriguing matchups of Matchweek 4 is Ronaldo versus Moat. Two of the perennial powers meet in a marquee matchup that will have far reaching ramifications for the soon-to-be-frantic playoff push. Ronaldo leads the all time series with 3 regular season wins (Moat with zero) and wins in two of the three MLS postseasons. Moat’s only win over Ronaldo came in the inaugural championship game. We’ll see how this pans out, but look for the consistency of ronaldo to overcome the spotty if not shoddy attendance of moat in this midseason clash of the titans.
Look Ma versus Allstars FC:
I’m calling this the battle of the basement. The reigning champs and a very talented Allstars squad both find themselves reeling after a tough start to the season. Boasting the fourth and fifth hardest schedules (based on the BK soccer power index, sponsored by Burger King), both teams find themselves winless after a brutal start to the fall 2019 campaign. Look for each team to right the ship and put things together closer to October, Look Ma won the ‘ship last season as a 7-seed who came to the postseason battle tested and ready for revenge.
Soccer, I Hardly Knew ‘er versus I Think we can do Better:
Brad’s preseason blog indicates both teams share ancestral links with Catch me Offsides and All Bark, no Bite. Veeeeeeerrrrrry interesting. Let’s see if bad blood flows in this matchup of second cousins thrice-removed. The 2019 results give a slight edge to I Think we can do Better with a week 2 win against Rebel Alliance (4-3) compared to Soccer I Hardly Knew Her’s week 3 loss to Rebel Alliance (6-5). That being said, using rebel scum as the barometer has its own pitfalls, so I’m calling this one a toss up
Motherlovers versus Kick in a Box:
Rumor has it that Ryan O'donnell is going to play neutral center mid in a pinnie for whichever team has possession. Talk about a cop out. Kick in a Box has a knack for the upset boasting TWO wins over Look Ma out of three regular season meetings, a win over Moat Monsters, and ties against both Netkicks and Chill and Hangover 86. Don’t count KIB out until the last mother is loved.
Misfits v Oozlekicks:
The third meeting in two seasons sees a former division two champ against an improved Oozlekicks squad from last season. Misfits are flying high over their demolition of a toothless Look Ma (no hands and no teeth sounds miserable to me), Oozlekicks will look to knock misfits off the top of the table as the only team with 3 points out of 3 games. Misfits, ranked 6th in the preseason rankings (based on the BK soccer index, sponsored by Burger King) will for another win against a higher ranked team and put the league on watch in the process.
Hot and Messi versus Unatletico Monroe:
Don’t let H&M’s all time record of 3-18 fool you, their strength of schedule over three seasons includes the fourth, fourth, and first most difficult slates. Unatletico Monroe, the artist formerly known as Ibra Khadibra and later White Joggers, is a little more difficult to quantify. White jogger bested H&M last season 6-3, and H&M didn’t square off with the artist formerly known as Ibra Khadibra in fall 2018. Looking at this season, H&M fell to Retired Athletes 2-3 while Unatletico bested them 5-4. Look for this contest to be close with attendance possibly being the deciding factor.
PKs and IPAs versus Retired Athletes:
The 10th and 11th place finishers from last season square off in what could be a preview of the league 2 cup final. PKs only loss is a respectable 4-1 loss to Ronaldo in week 2, so a league 2 final might fall short of their expectations for the season. Retired Athletes have a win against an often overlooked Hot and Messi and respectable losses to Moat Monsters followed by Unatletico Monroe. Adding PKs to their list of victims will surely bolster their resume for the postseason.
Hangover 86 versus Netkicks and Chill:
Netkicks has been on the business end of a tough schedule that saw losses to Oozlekicks and Misfits before a tie with Motherlovers. Hangover was flying high after a surprise win against Allstars (2-1) to open the season, followed by an equally surprising thrashing by Motherlovers (0-6). They righted the ship with a lopsided win against Unatletico Monroe and will look to build momentum against a higher quality opponent in match week 4. I think these teams are more evenly matched than their records suggest, look for a close game with Hangover hungry to take the Hulu to Netkicks.
Rebel Alliance versus Defenders of the Bridge:
Rebel Alliance, sitting pretty at 9th and just above relegation to league two playoffs, look to bolster their 2-1-0 record against a much improved DOTB team. DOTB eeked out a 0-0 draw against I Think we Can do Better who then eeked out a 4-3 win against Rebel Alliance in week 2. Advantage DOTB. That being said, DOTB is still recovering from a lopsided loss against PKs and might not find their footing before Rebel Alliance seeks to move farther up the table.As another exciting year of
THE RACE FOR THE GOLDEN BOOT - FALL 2019
Ryan Greene jumps to the top of the Golden Boot Race with 8 goals in two games played for Soccer I Hardly Know 'Er. He's an early favorite to win it with SIHKE's relatively weak schedule. That being said, Misfits apparently don't have a problem scoring against the best. Their division of labor is impressive with 16 goals coming from 3 different players in the top 9 goalscorers. Chris Sharrett of PKs sits in striking distance as does newcomer Gerardo Castillo.
WEEK 3 @ OOZLEFINCH
The Chismon Creek Band will be out there after 5 PM with food from one of our favorite food trucks, Flame and Pie!
Nothing that can wash down a refreshing rivalry like a pizza and a beer.
Stay tuned to the Facebook page for Katelynn's Bar Challenge of the Week!!
I won't be there for Rivalry Week because I'll be celebrating my 39th birthday in Duck, NC with my family (and recovering from a sprained ankle). The one and only Brent Wentworth will be running the league out there so if you see him, say hi and thank him for all he does because none of this would be possible without him. And remind him the Jets stink. If you're not sure who Brent is, just look for this face. (...He'll never help me again)
Since I won't be there, let me take this time to issue a CLUBWAKA PSA to avoid injury.
Since I won't be there, let me take this time to issue a CLUBWAKA PSA to avoid injury.
Don't forget to warm up, kids.
NFL Redzone
!!! - Wallop
Tacocat - This Mess is a Place
Ghostface Killah - Ghostface Killahs
Vivian Girls - Memory
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