THE MLS PLAYOFFS ARE UPON US
7 weeks went by quick and this is by far the most unpredictable season yet. I'd even call it a Thriller. AY-OH!
- But in all seriousness, who had Look Ma, No Hands going winless?
- Who had Hot and Messi finishing #1?
- Who had Ronaldo finishing 6th?
- Who had Motherlovers outside of the top 9?
- Who had Michael Jackson turning into some weird cat werewolf thing and tormenting his girlfriend?
Life is unpredictable, man. It was a bonkers season and now it's about to get even bonkerserer because the playoffs are here. We'll be getting into some analysis further down, but let me pause here so you can remember to run and get your cleats shined up b/c you'll want to look good when the whole league is watching.
It's time to make some magic and turn MVPs into Hall of Famers.
Buttttt firsssssssst... let's recap the final week of the regular season.
HOUSEKEEPING
TO WEAR YOUR FREAKIN' CLUBWAKA SHIRT. How many times do I need to tell you? Do I need to get an Exorcist out there?
2. WINTER SPORT SIGNUPS ARE HERE!
| Activity | City | Location | Start Date | Link |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Thurs. Volleyball | Norfolk | Kroc Center | 12/5/19 | Early Bird |
| Thurs. Bowling | Williamsburg | AMF | 1/9/20 | 65% Sold Out |
| Sun. Bowling | Hampton | Sparetimes | 1/12/20 | Early Bird |
| Wed. Volleyball | Newport News | Denbigh CC | 1/15/20 | Early Bird |
| Wed. Dodgeball | Norfolk | NCS | 1/22/20 | Early Bird |
| Sat. Kickball | Hampton | Barron Elm. | 1/25/20 | Early Bird |
| Sun. Kickball | Virginia Beach | Landstowne Area | 1/12/20 | Coming Soon! |
3. TROPHIES:
I'm waiting on one more trophy to be returned and I'm going to get all of last year's winners added for our trophy presentation during the final week. We'll be announcing the Sign Up Simon (best sign-up period), the Golden Gal (best female), the Golden Boot (highest goalscorer), and the Hands of God (best goalkeeper) in next week's blog. Then we'll be presenting said trophies during the final week (Time TBA).
4. BOWLING:
There's a post-Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl coming up as well at Sparetimes in Hampton on 11/30. Highly recommend you guys join me out there. Would love to see a good CLUBWAKA MLS turnout. What's better than shooting for a turkey with a bunch of CLUBWAKA turkeys?
5.
DOGS: While I don't think it was one of the dogs our players are bringing out there... there did happen to be some dog logs in one of the 18-yard boxes so please be sure to clean up after your animals if you bring 'em out. Also, avoid bringing any animals with rabies to the field. Thank you.
I'm waiting on one more trophy to be returned and I'm going to get all of last year's winners added for our trophy presentation during the final week. We'll be announcing the Sign Up Simon (best sign-up period), the Golden Gal (best female), the Golden Boot (highest goalscorer), and the Hands of God (best goalkeeper) in next week's blog. Then we'll be presenting said trophies during the final week (Time TBA).
4. BOWLING:
There's a post-Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl coming up as well at Sparetimes in Hampton on 11/30. Highly recommend you guys join me out there. Would love to see a good CLUBWAKA MLS turnout. What's better than shooting for a turkey with a bunch of CLUBWAKA turkeys?
5.
DOGS: While I don't think it was one of the dogs our players are bringing out there... there did happen to be some dog logs in one of the 18-yard boxes so please be sure to clean up after your animals if you bring 'em out. Also, avoid bringing any animals with rabies to the field. Thank you.
WEEK 7 RESULTS AND STANDINGS
Look Ma, No Wins vs. Hangover 86 FC
You're the best. Around.
Look Ma fell to 0-7 one season after winning the championship. Everyone is expecting them to make some serious noise in the playoffs when half their team who has been hibernating all season decides to show up.
Live footage of Look Ma's Fall 2019 season.
Hangover 5 - 2 Look Ma
All Stars FC vs. Ronaldo McDonaldo
Vick Rojas plants for a shot.
But I know that Lee Craig does a word count on the blog every week and has expectations, so I'll try to give more analysis than that. As expected, this proved to be a statement game for All Stars. They needed the win to stay in the top 9 and came out with some serious fire. Anderson put two goals in early before Ronaldo clawed their way back into the game with a couple of goals from Machie and 1 from Erika Dietz. With the game 3-3 in the closing minutes, the rain started to pick up. All Stars earned a corner kick and the corner was played across the 6. Ronaldo had chances to clear it but it ended up on the foot of guess who? Anderson Rojas. Put his 4th goal in from inside the 6 and signed, sealed, and delivered the win for All Stars FC. They'll be a frequent pick to play dark horse and make a run in the tournament. Meanwhile, Ronaldo enters the tournament as the 6 seed -- their lowest in any of the 4 seasons thus far.
All Stars 4 - 3 Ronaldo
Retired Athletes vs. Rebel Alliance
Gerardo Castillo goes 1 v. 1.
The battle of the RAs! That sounds like some kind of weird college dance battle.
Rebel Alliance got back to their winning ways after a bit of a hiatus. 3 different players had braces for the Runnin' Rebs with Katelynn Cioffi, Aaron Fraites, and Sinzoyituka Emmanual accounting for the 6. Retired Athletes fell to 2-5 on the season and will quickly be looking for revenge as these two teams will match up again in the first round of the playoffs.
Katelynn will surely be reaching out to her team to warn them...
Rebel Alliance 6 - 1 Retired Athletes
Motherlovers vs. Oozlekicks
AJ Hurlock blasts one outside of the box while Dave Mclain steps over to contest it.
This would have been my GAME OF THE WEEK -- assuming I had done a blog last week... which I didn't. Turned out not to be that great of a game, so not sure why I just blew up my own spot. Anyhooo, Oozlekicks put in a dominant performance despite Dave Mclain not wearing his CLUBWAKA shirt. Dennis Zollicoffer led Oozle again with a couple of goals, Adam Smith knocked in a PK, and Jay Coble kept the ball out of the net outside of a ML goal from Ryan Bass.
The loss knocked Motherlovers into the bottom bracket despite starting the season with a ton of promise. I think the 4-4 tie to Netkicks partway through the season came back to haunt them in the standings. Interestingly enough, that's who they'll be playing in the first round of the tourney. An early favorite to win the bottom bracket, can they put away a pesky Netkicks team? We'll find out Sunday.
Oozlekicks 4 - 1 Motherlovers
Netkicks and Chill vs. Moat Monsters
Dorsey and Burleson - Moat's goal scorers this week - work on a give-n-go.
Like Look Ma, Netkicks had a significant drop in the table this season falling from 2 in the Spring to 16. Meanwhile, Moat continues to be the face of consistency with a finish in the #2 slot.
Moat Monsters 5 - 2 Netkicks
PKs and IPAs vs. Kick in a Box
Paul Ilori clears the ball from the box for PKs and IPAs
Kick in a Box is in 17th place in the table, but almost every week I hear the same thing. Kick in a Box played the other team tough until about the last 10 minutes before the other team finished them off. We had another example of it this week, but I feel like that's something that's super promising for a KiaB team to have played the #4 seed tight into the second half.
Despite KiaB tying the most goals scored in a game this season with 4, goals from Chris Sharrett, Kindle Timberlake, Callum Sutherland and Mark Halvorsen were too much to overcome.
PKs and IPAs made a huge jump up the table this season to number after winning the League 2 bracket last season. Kick in a Box finishes in 17th and draws a hungry Look Ma team searching for their first win.
PKs 7 - 4 KIAB
Misfits vs. Soccer I Hardly Know 'Er
Double teamed! Scott Young and Jake Uzzell step over as Ryan Greene takes a shot from deep.
They shut down Ryan Greene and pushed forward with Matt Kraft and Scott Young providing the damage. Pair that with some solid D and some good saves from Buck Waldrop and you end up with a shut out to lock down the 5 slot in the table. SIHKE falls to 3-4, which is still a huge upgrade over the final position of All Bark No Bite last season.
Misfits 5 - 0 SIHKE
Hot & Messi vs. I Think We Can Do Better
Kevin Wortham and Dave Chappell look on as H&M closes out the #1 seed.
And on that note... we've covered a couple of teams that dropped significantly in the standings, but let's talk about a jump up... Hot and Messi went from 15th place out of 16 teams (1-6) and flipped their entire record on its head to 1st out of 18 (6-1)!
That's even crazier than a....
As for ITWCDB's fate in the table? Quit being impatient. (but if you must know RIGHT NOW, skip down to the FINAL STANDINGS AND SOME NOTES section)
Hot and Messi 4 - 0 ITWCDB
Defenders of the Bridge vs. Unatletico Monroe
Matt Conti and Jimmy Boonruang get the defense organized as the DOTB/UAM game comes to an end.
This game had absolutely huge ramifications on the bottom of the top 9. DOTB wins? They're in the top 9 and have completed a huge jump up the table from last season. Lose, and they could drop significantly. Chris Whalley told the team, "Come on boys. Jump on my back and I'll take you to the top 9". A hat trick later, it looked likely to happen.
UAM was already eliminated from top 9 contention and could have phoned it in. Did they? No way, man. They fought DOTB with tooth and nail and scrapped their way to a 3-3 tie. In the closing moments, a DOTB player took a shot at goal and a UAM player jumped with his arm up. Controversy ensued as DOTB called for a penalty for a handball. The referee called for a corner and the game finished in a tie. That's how close DOTB was from jumping into the top 9. Instead, they may actually be in a better position as they sit as the #1 seed in the MLS League 2 Playoffs. And let me tell you... they ain't just defending the bridge. They're attacking too.
DOTB 3 - 3 UAM
FINAL STANDINGS & SOME NOTES
Week 7 saw some serious movement with Ronaldo falling, Hangover and All Stars jumping into the top 9 from bottom 9 positions, and I Think We Can Do Better sneaking into the top 9 despite losing in their last game. How close were positions 7 through 10? All 4 teams had the same winning percentage. Because Hangover had the most wins, they jumped to 7. All Stars, ITWCDB, and DOTB were all tied on win percentage and wins, so it went to Goals Against as the decider. All Stars only had 15 so that positioned them at 8. And I Think We Can Do Better finishes with one less goal against than DOTB.
If DOTB wins instead of tying, they jump to 7 and it pushes ITWCDB to #1 in the bottom bracket. That would have set up a Hangover/All Stars 8/9 play-in game. Life is a series of moments and it's amazing how one moment can blow up a table.
Motherlovers loss to Oozlekicks dropped them to the number 2 seed in the MLS League 2 Bracket. Early feedback from Vegas has Motherlovers or Look Ma as the heavy favorites to win the cup, but I think this bracket is more unpredictable than people think and attendance is going to factor in heavily. Have some serious goalscorers in this bracket as well with Chris Whalley of DOTB, Gerardo Castillo of Rebel Alliance, Ryan Greene of SIHKE, Brendan Fajotina of Netkicks, and AJ Hurlock of Motherlovers all bringing some serious firepower.
PLAYOFF MATCHUPS
*GASP* here they are!
MLS CUP PLAYOFFS
Quick records/predictions for each game -- feel free to have any other discussion within the comments:
Hot & Messi if they play All Stars:
Previous Results: None
Brad's prediction: All Stars by 1
Players to watch: Dani Robinson (H&M), Kevin Wortham (H&M)
Hot & Messi if they play ITWCDB:
Previous Results: Hot & Messi 1-0 (Hot and Messi won 4-0 in Fall 2019)
Brad's prediction: Hot and Messi by 3
All Stars vs. ITWCDB:
Previous Results: None
Brad's prediction: All Stars by 4
Players to watch - All Stars: Anderson Rojas, Jose Caro, Matt Kennedy, Sarah Korecky
Players to watch - ITWCDB: Baylen McCarthy, Hunter Orrell, Gabe Fricke, Jocelyn Evans
PKs and IPAs vs. Misfits:
Previous Results: None
Brad's Prediction: Misfits by 3
Players to watch - PKs and IPAs: Chris Sharrett, Paul Ilori, Mark Haloversen, Kindle Timberlake
Players to watch - Misfits: Matt Kraft, Trey Engelbert, Scott Young, Buck Waldrop
Moat Monsters vs. Hangover 86 FC:
Previous Results: MOAT 2-0 (Moat won 9-1 in Fall 2018, Moat won 7-2 in Spring 2019)
Brad's prediction: Moat by 2
Players to watch - Moat: Matt Burleson, Jesse Evans, Jessica Huntington, Sarah Watson, Jason Campbell
Players to watch - Hangover 86 FC: Blake Thompson, Simie Iriarte, Mickey Amaro, Sterling Hopkins, Jerald Jorge
Oozlekicks vs. Ronaldo McDonaldo:
Previous Results: Ronaldo 3-0-1 (Ronaldo won 5-1 and 4-2 in Spring 2018, Ronaldo won 10-6 in Fall 2018, Tie 2-2 in Fall 2019)
Brad's prediction: Pick'em
Players to watch - Oozlekicks: Dennis Zollicoffer, Jay Coble, Tom Weniger, Adam Smith, Emily Finerfrock
Players to watch - Ronaldo: Mike Machie, Dara Emami, Frank Council, Kaylee Pearce, Brandon Silver
LEAGUE TWO PLAYOFFS
DOTB if they play Kick in a Box:
Previous Results: DOTB 1-0-1 (DOTB won 2-1 in Fall 2019, Tied 2-2 in Spring 2019)
Brad's prediction: DOTB by 2
Players to watch - DOTB: Chris Whalley, Jimmy Boonruang, Rich Parris, Melissa Sims, Christina Race
DOTB if they play Look Ma:
Previous Results: None.
Brad's prediction: Look Ma by 1
Kick in a Box vs. Look Ma:
Previous Results: Tied 2-2 (Look Ma won 7-0 in Spring 2018, Kick in a Box won 5-2 and Look Ma won 8-1 in Fall 2018, Kick in a Box won 2-1 in Spring 2019)
Brad's prediction: Look Ma by 3
Players to watch - Kick in a Box: Chris Kostryka, Matt Epperly, Chase Cali
Players to watch - Look Ma No Hands: Scott George, Calli Sherrill, Joe Ingraham, Lindsay Ingraham, Brian Diamond
SIHKE vs. UAM:
Previous Results: None
Brad's Prediction: Pick'em
Players to watch - SIHKE: Ryan Greene, Hannah Broughton, Sarah Staley, Carlos Murillo, Paige Skweres
Players to watch - UAM: April Stone, Sal Russo, Ana Romanova, Adam Stavola, Dustin Harris
Motherlovers vs. Netkicks:
Previous Results: Tied 4-4 in Fall 2019
Brad's prediction: Motherlovers by 2
Players to watch - ML: AJ Hurlock, Ryan O'Donnell, Kayson Bell, Matt Comerford, Kyoko Runner
Players to watch - Netkicks: Brendan Fajotina, Sam Huffman, Don Perkins, Cristina Genoese-Zerbi
Rebel Alliance vs. Retired Athletes:
Previous Results: Rebel Alliance won 6-1 in Fall 2019
Brad's prediction: Rebel Alliance by 2
Players to watch - Rebel Alliance: Gerardo Aguilar Castillo, Travis Brown, Aaron Fraites, Andy Anderson, Amy Saunders
Players to watch - Retired Athletes: Arturo Gildo, Max Edrei, Sydney Smith, Jonathan Malla, Haamid Shaikh
And we present you with....
THE TEAM OF THE WEEK - WEEK 7
Michael Machie - Two goals to get Ronaldo back into it after a real slow start against All Stars.
Kindle Timberlake - Continues to impress for PKs and IPAs with a brace on Sunday.
Sal Russo - Has had multiple times he's been considered for Team of the Week this season. Had a great outside of the 18 shot and was dangerous on numerous occasions.
Anderson Rojas - When you almost singlehandedly beat Ronaldo McDonaldo, there's no argument that you should be week MVP, much less make Team of the Week. Dominant performance.
Chris Whalley - And speaking of dominant performances - is it odd to anyone else that when Chris Whalley attends the games, DOTB's record is significantly better? Another hattie for Whalley this week.
Michael Dorsey - A brace from Dorsey in the rain. Solid contributor all over the field for Moat. Has gotten overlooked for most of the season as Burleson has been getting all the glory.
Zack Hamer - 4 goals to get some Hangover momentum going before the playoffs. Tough first draw against Moat but Zack will look to put in the same dominant performance next week.
Scott Young - Generally plays in the back but when he pushes up, he's a huge threat and this was a perfect game to illustrate that. A brace and I believe he may have drawn a penalty that Matt Kraft took, but I'm not sure. If so, he had a hat trick stolen from him and should definitely confront Matt verbally and physically the next time he sees him.
Katelynn Cioffi - Two goals from Katelynn as our social coordinator and most organized captain leads RA to victory of another RA (retired athletes)
Tyler Sibole - Played center back most of the game, but stepped forward to hit an absolute screamer from just past half field for Hot and Messi.
Caitlin Weirick - Tons and tons of saves for Caitlin against Hot and Messi including a gem at the closing seconds off the line.
PHOTOS OF THE WEEK
Moat takes on Netkicks under a beautiful post-storm sky.
Craig Macduffie of Motherlovers dives to take the ball off of Jamal Barnes of Oozlekicks' feet.
Chris Whalley of DOTB fends off Tommy Doyle of UAM on his way to the goal.
April Stone of UnAtletico Monroe unleashes a bullet.
THE RACE FOR THE GOLDEN BOOT - FALL 2019
One game left. Time to see who the strikingest striker is.
Fall 2019 seems a bit tortoise and hare, doesn't it? Ryan Greene goes out big early and takes what appears to be an insurmountable lead before fading in the back 9. Meanwhile, Chris Sharrett and Matt Burleson - the models of consistency continue chipping away at his lead. Now we're at the end of the regular season and we're in the home stretch of the race. One more game to go and a full sprint from the three of them to the finish line.
1. Chris Sharrett vs. Misfits (who has the lowest Goals Against in the league.)
2. Matt Burleson vs. Hangover (who should have their full squad after having some ups and downs in attendance this season.)
3. Ryan Greene vs. UnAtletico Monroe (who upset PKs and IPAs and pulled off a tie against DOTB to close the season.)
So who you picking?
And remember... you wanna win, you gotta shoot.
1. Chris Sharrett vs. Misfits (who has the lowest Goals Against in the league.)
2. Matt Burleson vs. Hangover (who should have their full squad after having some ups and downs in attendance this season.)
3. Ryan Greene vs. UnAtletico Monroe (who upset PKs and IPAs and pulled off a tie against DOTB to close the season.)
So who you picking?
And remember... you wanna win, you gotta shoot.
PLAYOFFS @ OOZLEFINCH
WWKMD? (What would Kim Merritt Do?) He'd go to Oozlefinch and have a beer post-game. You should too.
This blog powered by punk and ska in honor of Kim Merritt:
Jeff Rosenstock - Worry
Less than Jake - Losing Streak
Minor Threat - Minor Threat
NOFX - I Heard They Suck Live
Black Flag - Damaged
Wire - Pink Flag
Operation Ivy - Operation Ivy
Before I sign off, I just wanted to say how sad it was to hear of Kim Merritt's passing last week. I know Dave Chappell already posted something in the Facebook group, but for those who don't know Kim, he was a staple in kickball and soccer circles within Hampton Roads and an all around bad ass. Huge player in the VB chapter of the American Outlaws, went to a ton of soccer games all over the place, ran a Circuit kickball team, played sand soccer every year. And someone that every time you saw him, was the life of the party. The man fought metastatic colorectal cancer for 3 years, exhausted every type of chemo under the sun, and was an inspiration to tons of people for his fight and the way he lived his life.
In our first CLUBWAKA MLS season, Kim Merritt and Kearsten Lewis signed up together and we had a good number of free agents. Knowing them from kickball, I asked if they'd be willing to take on some free agents and captain the squad. Kim played a portion of that season in goal with a colostomy, welcomed a bunch of free agents, and spawned a franchise that finished in first place this season. I've heard people say it's schedule-related or maybe it's Joe and Dave's recruiting that pushed them to the top, but I like to think it's Kim's fighting spirit that pushed them to the top.
We'll miss you, Kim. Baddest MF on the planet. Fxck Cancer.
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