A Man and his (Foul) Balls: Vol. 2

By Nathaniel Johnson

It was the fifth. Tied 2-2. The Foul Balls stared down the New Kickheads from across the field of play. The horn sounded. Despite his lack of experience at this sport of kings, Ronnie was a strong lead off man and set the tone for the Foul Balls blistering through their lineup to win by a wide margin of nearly three cups. Yes dear friends, the Foul Balls had vanquished another flip cup foe in a best of five series that went down to the wire. I'm told this was a rematch for some other game that was played earlier in the day, but the author was unable to confirm this rumor. Attempts were made to reach sober Foulies to confirm that they had played the New Kickheads earlier in the evening in what was being described as "kickball", but none could be reached for comment over continued war cries of WHOSE BALLS!? Eventually, this reporter was granted an interview with Brandon Darling, who when asked about a possible kickball game earlier in the evening responded, "Kickball game? I don't know man. I was sober until about 8, and that's when things started making sense again."

 

At 1:30 PM on Saturday, April 9, 2011, the Foul Balls discovered that there was a "Bar Buzz Poll". By 4:00 PM the Foulies had gathered at Captain Nardis home with a keg from America's oldest brewery. There were a few lover's embraces shared around the fountain of foam and promises were made. The Foul Balls knew their purpose in this krazy messed up kickball world: to love one another... and dominate every Bar Buzz Poll from week 2 until we burn Luckie's down in a final blaze of glory. Is this blog going to become shameless pandering to the Barr Buzz voters? Yes friends, it most certainly is. My purpose is now two-fold: to share my love for ten men and some women and to promote our drinking prowess. 

A new segment this week in AMAH(F)B: Foul Balls Couple of the Week.  

Week 2: I realize there are many teams out there in the Peninsula league dying to be privy to the social developments in Foul Balls, but simply do not have the time to track the sexiest team at Pilots Stadium. To do everyone a favor, we here at AMAH(F)B are introducing this new segment. Every week we will introduce you to the power couple most worthy of your respect and admiration. This week I present to you: Ronnie and Becky.  These two warriors were not only new to the game of kickball, but this week they met a second new challenge in the game of flip cup.  My North Suffolk soulmates proved they were up to the task by performing admirably well on the table and then later showcasing their experience on the dance floor.

Also new this week, I will be baring my soul to the kickball world the best way I know how...in the form of song.  So that all you dear friends, my dedicated readers, will more fully understand the depth of my love for my Balls.  Let me be clear, I am in love with my Balls, and I am not afraid to declare that win, lose or drunk, know this: