AMAH(F)B: Beltin' Beyersdorf

by Jorts Johnson, Foul Balls
Pictures by Ashlee Gitkos, Jagernauts

Losers on the pitch,

but another bar buzz win,

you can suck our belt.  -

a Beyersdorf/Johnson joint

To paraphrase the great American author Mark Twain, "rumors of the demise of AMAH(F)B have been greatly exaggerated".  Week 8 provided the  intrigue, passion and plastic belts to awake the sleeping giant that is the Foul Balls writing staff.  However, even a Bar Buzz title and a near miss on the field where not enough to set my fingers aflutter, so this week we will be enjoying guest commentary from Foul Territory's second longest tenured player, Andreas "Yeah, I Have a Championship Ring" Beyersdorf.  A game pitting the only two teams in the league without a victory probably lacked any intrigue to any other teams in the WAKA Peninsula league. 

Andreas "I've Slept with the Wentworth Cup" Beyersdorf: "Watching these two teams play made everyone wish there would be a kickball lockout."

Despite this being the Battle for the Basement, the VD leadership appeared to take a very keen interest in supporting the Gangsters as a defensive consultant throughout the game.  The reason for this eludes me at present, but I must imagine that it in some manner increased VD's rankings in the WAKA National Sagarin and Billingsley computer polls, but not the Colley Matrix which doesn't reward margin of victory or strength of schedule....obviously.

Andreas "Kiss My Ring" Beyersdorf: "Bundy's terrific coaching helped the Chubby Gangsters rally from a 4 run lead, to a 1 run victory."

Any sage defensive advice bestowed on either team fell on deaf ears.  Both teams came out swinging in the first inning and three runs were scored by the Foulies in the top of the inning and the Gangsters responded in kind with three runs in the bottom of the inning. John Max recorded the first run of his kickball career in his sophomore campaign. Both sides went slippin' and slidin' in the sloppy second and the scoring sadly stagnated.  

Andreas "One More Than LeBron" Beyersdorf: "People complained that the ref was blind, but in his defense he gouged his eyes out after watching these two horrible teams play for two innings."

The third inning saw the return of the offensive fireworks.  The third inning also brought former Foul Ball Greg Moore to the mound to face his former team.  I would call this merely a coincidence, but my co-author/captain....Andreas "I Call My Kitchen Titletown" Beyersdorf: "Greg "The Traitor" Moore was benched for two innings."...chose to keep it classy.  Tomas fooled the entire league last week with the classic Slovakian Sandbag maneuver.  After fouling out in his first kickball at-bat against Kick Ass, Dr. Mikovny went back to his lab and invented a double kicking machine.  Unfortunately, he failed to spend any of that time on flubber shoes that would stop him from overrunning second base and being thrown out after reaching safely. 

We went into the bottom of the fifth trailing the Gangbusters 8-3 and launched the explosive last inning rally that the Foul Balls are renowned for throughout the WAKA world.  As most of you are aware at this point, the furious Foul Territory comeback ended on a very tight play that could have gone either way at first on a kick that would have scored the tying run.  I think I'll let Andreas take this blog home with a lightning round of post-game commentary.

Andreas "Check My Profile Picture" Beyersdorf:"The winner of this game won the inaugural Brent Suckworth Trophy."

"After watching these two teams play it was hard to imagine that the Foul Balls once won a championship and the Chubby Gangsters once...."

And my personal favorite..."After the game, the Foul Balls were heard cheering, "Suck for Luck! Suck for Luck!"

Overall, this game was just two fun clubs slugging it out in the mud and I know I can speak for Gang Green and salute the Gangsters and thank them for a great night of kickball and partying.  Look for the Foul Balls to start reeling off wins now that we have our beloved belt back in Foul Territory. 

Foul Territory. Bar Buzz champions.