The Decision?

Apparently I have not been removed from the Foul Balls email list and therefore received this email from Foul Territory's elder statesmen, Andreas Beyersdorf, in the lead up to the most anticipated* showdown of Week 2 Virginia Raptor competition.

Open letter regarding the 'Betrayal':

Dear Foul Territory, all of Hampton Roads and Foul Balls supporters wherever you may be tonight;
As you now know, Nathaniel Johnson, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Foul Ball. This was announced with a several-day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a facebook comment of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of kickball and probably the history of cut-off jean short entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Foul Balls have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you. There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you. Actually, we won’t.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal. You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight: "I personally guarantee that the Cleveland Cavaliers will win an NBA Championship before the self-titled former 'king' wins one." You can take it to the bank. As for the Foul Balls, don’t count on a championship any time soon but remember that one time we did win – good times.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Foul Territory, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels. We may even practice.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there. Sorry, but that's simply not how it works. And to be honest I am not sure what these sentences even mean but screw you Jorts.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our homegrown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Foul Territory. The self-declared former "Jorts" will be taking the "curse" with him down south (apparently Foul Territory is in the northern part of Hampton Roads). And until he does "right" by Wade Brock and Andreas Beyersdorf, Jorts (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma. Just watch.

Sleep well, Foul Territory. Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day... I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only: DELIVERING YOU the championship… um… I mean… Playing kickball semi-competently.

Andreas Beyersdorf

Outfielder and Hat Maker for your Foul Balls

*There are approximately** five games that are more anticipated than this one.

**Exactly five games