Last week you were promised recaps, previews and predictions for what is sure to be our best Bar Buzz season yet. Unfortunately our Bar Buzz Panel doesn't have any outstanding video editing skills (after all, that's too much incriminating evidence for our league! Some of you might still believe you can actually run for political office one day). However, we don't want to let you down completely...so here we go - previews and predictions: short and sweet!
Peanut Butter Jelly -- Entirely new to the league, it remains to be seen what PBJ can offer in terms of social capabilities. Unfortunately, their known association with other ("inferior") kickball leagues doesn't do much for their social capital given that this (unnamed) league leaves little to be desired in terms of bar bonding.
Moose Knuckles -- Fall Season Ranking: N/A, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 You would be wise to remember that the Knuckles hold the honor of being the the very first recipients of the Bar Buzz Belt. However, they exited the social scene almost as quickly as they entered. You've probably seen many members partying around the peninsula though and so we wouldn't be surprised if they came back with as much vengeance as finding their moniker in a pair of Ralphie Mae's spandex shorts.
Kick Ass -- Fall Season Ranking: 13.9, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 To say that Kick Ass led a dissappointing Bar Buzz Season would be an understatement. Not once were they ranked in the top 10 teams. But I wouldn't count them out, some Bar Buzz greats just need a solid warm up. And with a whole season behind them, we just might see the type of team performance that we all know they are individually capable of performing. Besides, who knows what lengths Nathaniel Jorts Johnson will go to continue his winning tradition.
Shake N Bake -- Fall Season Ranking: 12.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0* We won't say SNB was unimpressive last season; in fact, we can't say that. They are home to our very favorite BDB's (Baseball Diamond Boys, Jeffery Scott and AJ Derr -- a tradition that goes all the way back to Spring 2011). (Editor's note: although SNB has never won a Bar Buzz title, the BDB's are the only individuals who have ever been officially awarded the Belt and were on the SNB roster when this honor was received). However, when the Commisoner calls you out on being lamer than his former team... you've got to find the time to check yourself. And it looks like SNB might have done just that, amping up their social roster this year by adding the likes of Scott Duncan, Thomas & Erin Welch and newcomer/infamous peninsula partier, Heidi Etter.
Battlestar Ballsacktica -- Fall Season Ranking: 11.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 When the Ballsacks first entered the scene, they were known for being the best darn supper club around... sitting at the high tops at the bar, gingerly eating their Sweet & Hot Wings with a knife and fork. Really, there wouldn't be much wrong with this (well, okay, not entirely) except they never interacted with anyone else. Fortunately, by the end of the season they were able to sack up {eh, eh, get it??} and finally add a title to their belt. Unfortunately, by the time the Fall season came around they had once again, lost their cojones and fell to the bottom of our rankings. So the real question is, which Ballsacks will show up?
Burning Bridges -- Fall Season Ranking: 11.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 Much like Battlestar, Burning Bridges is often content to sit in their "claimed" place of residence (in this case, the infamous leather couches; {side note, don't you wonder what goes down (no pun intended) on those couches?? I hope you bring your Lysol every week}) and watch the Bar Buzz world go by. This doesn't mean to say that BB doesn't participate in our weekly shenanigans as they've been known to indulge a time or two, especially when the Effird/Travis crew is on set. However, we here at the Bar Buzz have been keeping an eye on these couch surfers and know to what degree their social skills are capable. Only time will tell if they are willing to break down some walls, construct some bridges and share such capabilities with the rest of the Peninsula.
Chubby Gangsters -- Fall Season Ranking: 10.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 We're sure this sort of ranking comes as a shock to most of you. But ff it's any consolation, the Gangsters did rank much higher in our unofficial Spring 2011 rankings (5.8 overall). In fact, their participation often comes in unreliable waves. AND if we could do a Bar Buzz for partying ON the field sidelines, the Chubbies would likely be the winner {but then it wouldn't be called the BAR Buzz now would it??}. Furthermore, Keith Morehart has issued a proclamation that he'll be a part of any and/or all Bar Buzz shenanigans. So really, it's only a matter of time before these Gangbangers finally get what's always been coming to them.
Just Kickin' It -- Fall Season Ranking: 7.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 If this were a gambling lines sort of column, I'd make JKI a "just pick 'em" line. They've had their low weeks and their high weeks and I can honestly say that they are the most genuine team that I've ever seen celebrate a win. And their roster is full of those outgoing, mingling types - just look at captains Brandon and Chrissy Accordino. We here at the Bar Buzz wouldn't be surprised to see them at the top of the line week after week. {But, then again, we've been known to be wrong once or twice.}
Just for Kicks -- Fall Season Ranking: 7.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 So often JFK takes us on a more emotional roller coaster than a pre-menstrual teenager watching The Notebook. They get so close and then the next week are just so far off base. As one of the highest ranked teams on the field, so often we want them to take home the Belt just so someone can prove that you CAN win on the field and at the bar. (Editor's note: it's been rumored Matt "The Experience" Barcus has made his experience a more sober one but we're not counting out the impact he can still have on the team and their Bar Buzz aspirations.)
Foul Balls -- Fall Season Ranking: 6.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 It goes without saying, that ranking don't prove sh*t about performance {right, all you kickball stat gurus? right???} and so we would suggest you throw out everything you know about the Foulies EXCEPT that they were the first team to self proclaim they would be Bar Buzz Champions. They will stop at nothing in achieving another title. Mark. My. (Gossiping) Words.
Chicken Tetrazzini -- Fall Season Ranking: 5.9, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 The Angry Birds always have a way of leading the middle of the pack and there's no doubt that wherever Hoffman, Henry and Co. travel, shenanigans are sure to ensue. They've got a veteran roster of social players returning and rumor has it that former Jagernaut Super Fan, Janet Krenn is itching to secure a the Belt outside of the shadow of the infamous and overzealous 'Nauts. Could this season be that finds us all on the dance floor, screaming in solidarity, "PAUL LOVE IT"??
Free Ballin' -- Fall Season Ranking: 5.9, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 While FB had a consistent showing last season, with their new found taste for winning and competition this spring our ballin' could go either way. But could the addition to the mix of social staples like Tom Zuppke and Zoe Holcomb be the magic ingredient that takes them to the top in both arenas?
New Kickheads on the Block -- Fall Season Ranking: 5.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 Back in the Golden Days of the Peninsula, it used to be that NKOTB was a sure win for any social competition. However, it appears that ever since they were pointed out as one of the best social teams on the block they've been destined to unravel {and no, i'm not just talking about their uniforms}. With an almost brand new roster, their performance this season truly is a wild card. Although, there is no way that captain Amanda Hassell will go down without a fight - even if it means stealing the Belt and holding it for ransom.
5 O'Clockers -- Fall Season Ranking: 4.3, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 Don't be surprised if you see the Clockers in the top 5 every week. Their ability to hang with the top ranked teams each season, makes their eventual takeover for the #1 spot completely effortless. Quite often, they take the Belt when others aren't looking - usually mid-season when the fatigue, job performance evaluations and livers of their competitors have gotten the best of them. Although rarely silent in their attack, the Clockers are often pretty deadly and have been known to rock all of Luckie's in one foul swoop. They certainly will be looking to break some records (and hearts) this season.
Rumspringa -- Fall Season Ranking: 4.2, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2.5 If ever there was a team to watch out for, the Amish are it. Combine their winning record (rarely are they seen outside of the top 5) with the promised return of veteran and RumJager Alliance Brainchild Brian Yohn (he has vowed that he will NOT miss a single WAKA Wednesday. I have written proof.) This could be the season they become unstoppable {Well, to be honest, they've always been unstoppable on the dance floor.} as it's likely just the very reading of this particular column will give them the edge they need to pull out all the stops tonight and every WAKA Wednesday.
Jagernauts -- Fall Season Ranking: 3.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 3.5 The Jagernauts take the Bar Buzz Title for the Fall season, securing another successful Bar Buzz Championships on their own, giving them a total of 2 single-handedly reserved and a 3rd shared with their RumJager Alliance. Some would call this rigged (Go ahead and think that. If you do, then you clearly aren't paying enough attention at the bar and should probably get your team off their bar stools and give the top seeded teams a run for their money) but really, the Bar Buzz was a competition the Jagers were meant to win. And we're not talking about their drinking capabilities (although those are pretty sweet). When it comes to the Belt, our friends in Urple succeed where it counts most: mixing, mingling and participation. However, what really gives them the edge is their longevity (sticking around for awhile in larger numbers) and making it to the midnight photo (a tradition they actually started). Ironically, this is where it could get tricky this season for the 'Nauts. Midnight staple, Ashlee "I dont need glitter because I'm carrying a baby" Gitkos might find it hard to keep her lids open to the magical hour and hubby, Kevin has already had to dip out early due to work commitments. Can the rest of the Jagers step up where it matters? Or will they be forced to find new and creative ways to make their presence known and become the first team on the Peninsula to gain more than 4 titles? The stakes certainly are high. Afterall, there are several Jager weddings taking place this summer hoping to have photos just like this:
Peanut Butter Jelly -- Entirely new to the league, it remains to be seen what PBJ can offer in terms of social capabilities. Unfortunately, their known association with other ("inferior") kickball leagues doesn't do much for their social capital given that this (unnamed) league leaves little to be desired in terms of bar bonding.
Moose Knuckles -- Fall Season Ranking: N/A, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 You would be wise to remember that the Knuckles hold the honor of being the the very first recipients of the Bar Buzz Belt. However, they exited the social scene almost as quickly as they entered. You've probably seen many members partying around the peninsula though and so we wouldn't be surprised if they came back with as much vengeance as finding their moniker in a pair of Ralphie Mae's spandex shorts.
Kick Ass -- Fall Season Ranking: 13.9, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 To say that Kick Ass led a dissappointing Bar Buzz Season would be an understatement. Not once were they ranked in the top 10 teams. But I wouldn't count them out, some Bar Buzz greats just need a solid warm up. And with a whole season behind them, we just might see the type of team performance that we all know they are individually capable of performing. Besides, who knows what lengths Nathaniel Jorts Johnson will go to continue his winning tradition.
Shake N Bake -- Fall Season Ranking: 12.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0* We won't say SNB was unimpressive last season; in fact, we can't say that. They are home to our very favorite BDB's (Baseball Diamond Boys, Jeffery Scott and AJ Derr -- a tradition that goes all the way back to Spring 2011). (Editor's note: although SNB has never won a Bar Buzz title, the BDB's are the only individuals who have ever been officially awarded the Belt and were on the SNB roster when this honor was received). However, when the Commisoner calls you out on being lamer than his former team... you've got to find the time to check yourself. And it looks like SNB might have done just that, amping up their social roster this year by adding the likes of Scott Duncan, Thomas & Erin Welch and newcomer/infamous peninsula partier, Heidi Etter.
Battlestar Ballsacktica -- Fall Season Ranking: 11.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 When the Ballsacks first entered the scene, they were known for being the best darn supper club around... sitting at the high tops at the bar, gingerly eating their Sweet & Hot Wings with a knife and fork. Really, there wouldn't be much wrong with this (well, okay, not entirely) except they never interacted with anyone else. Fortunately, by the end of the season they were able to sack up {eh, eh, get it??} and finally add a title to their belt. Unfortunately, by the time the Fall season came around they had once again, lost their cojones and fell to the bottom of our rankings. So the real question is, which Ballsacks will show up?
Burning Bridges -- Fall Season Ranking: 11.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 Much like Battlestar, Burning Bridges is often content to sit in their "claimed" place of residence (in this case, the infamous leather couches; {side note, don't you wonder what goes down (no pun intended) on those couches?? I hope you bring your Lysol every week}) and watch the Bar Buzz world go by. This doesn't mean to say that BB doesn't participate in our weekly shenanigans as they've been known to indulge a time or two, especially when the Effird/Travis crew is on set. However, we here at the Bar Buzz have been keeping an eye on these couch surfers and know to what degree their social skills are capable. Only time will tell if they are willing to break down some walls, construct some bridges and share such capabilities with the rest of the Peninsula.
Chubby Gangsters -- Fall Season Ranking: 10.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 We're sure this sort of ranking comes as a shock to most of you. But ff it's any consolation, the Gangsters did rank much higher in our unofficial Spring 2011 rankings (5.8 overall). In fact, their participation often comes in unreliable waves. AND if we could do a Bar Buzz for partying ON the field sidelines, the Chubbies would likely be the winner {but then it wouldn't be called the BAR Buzz now would it??}. Furthermore, Keith Morehart has issued a proclamation that he'll be a part of any and/or all Bar Buzz shenanigans. So really, it's only a matter of time before these Gangbangers finally get what's always been coming to them.
Just Kickin' It -- Fall Season Ranking: 7.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 If this were a gambling lines sort of column, I'd make JKI a "just pick 'em" line. They've had their low weeks and their high weeks and I can honestly say that they are the most genuine team that I've ever seen celebrate a win. And their roster is full of those outgoing, mingling types - just look at captains Brandon and Chrissy Accordino. We here at the Bar Buzz wouldn't be surprised to see them at the top of the line week after week. {But, then again, we've been known to be wrong once or twice.}
Just for Kicks -- Fall Season Ranking: 7.5, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 0 So often JFK takes us on a more emotional roller coaster than a pre-menstrual teenager watching The Notebook. They get so close and then the next week are just so far off base. As one of the highest ranked teams on the field, so often we want them to take home the Belt just so someone can prove that you CAN win on the field and at the bar. (Editor's note: it's been rumored Matt "The Experience" Barcus has made his experience a more sober one but we're not counting out the impact he can still have on the team and their Bar Buzz aspirations.)
Foul Balls -- Fall Season Ranking: 6.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 It goes without saying, that ranking don't prove sh*t about performance {right, all you kickball stat gurus? right???} and so we would suggest you throw out everything you know about the Foulies EXCEPT that they were the first team to self proclaim they would be Bar Buzz Champions. They will stop at nothing in achieving another title. Mark. My. (Gossiping) Words.
Chicken Tetrazzini -- Fall Season Ranking: 5.9, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 The Angry Birds always have a way of leading the middle of the pack and there's no doubt that wherever Hoffman, Henry and Co. travel, shenanigans are sure to ensue. They've got a veteran roster of social players returning and rumor has it that former Jagernaut Super Fan, Janet Krenn is itching to secure a the Belt outside of the shadow of the infamous and overzealous 'Nauts. Could this season be that finds us all on the dance floor, screaming in solidarity, "PAUL LOVE IT"??
Free Ballin' -- Fall Season Ranking: 5.9, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 1 While FB had a consistent showing last season, with their new found taste for winning and competition this spring our ballin' could go either way. But could the addition to the mix of social staples like Tom Zuppke and Zoe Holcomb be the magic ingredient that takes them to the top in both arenas?
New Kickheads on the Block -- Fall Season Ranking: 5.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 Back in the Golden Days of the Peninsula, it used to be that NKOTB was a sure win for any social competition. However, it appears that ever since they were pointed out as one of the best social teams on the block they've been destined to unravel {and no, i'm not just talking about their uniforms}. With an almost brand new roster, their performance this season truly is a wild card. Although, there is no way that captain Amanda Hassell will go down without a fight - even if it means stealing the Belt and holding it for ransom.
5 O'Clockers -- Fall Season Ranking: 4.3, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2 Don't be surprised if you see the Clockers in the top 5 every week. Their ability to hang with the top ranked teams each season, makes their eventual takeover for the #1 spot completely effortless. Quite often, they take the Belt when others aren't looking - usually mid-season when the fatigue, job performance evaluations and livers of their competitors have gotten the best of them. Although rarely silent in their attack, the Clockers are often pretty deadly and have been known to rock all of Luckie's in one foul swoop. They certainly will be looking to break some records (and hearts) this season.
Rumspringa -- Fall Season Ranking: 4.2, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 2.5 If ever there was a team to watch out for, the Amish are it. Combine their winning record (rarely are they seen outside of the top 5) with the promised return of veteran and RumJager Alliance Brainchild Brian Yohn (he has vowed that he will NOT miss a single WAKA Wednesday. I have written proof.) This could be the season they become unstoppable {Well, to be honest, they've always been unstoppable on the dance floor.} as it's likely just the very reading of this particular column will give them the edge they need to pull out all the stops tonight and every WAKA Wednesday.
Jagernauts -- Fall Season Ranking: 3.8, Previous Bar Buzz Titles: 3.5 The Jagernauts take the Bar Buzz Title for the Fall season, securing another successful Bar Buzz Championships on their own, giving them a total of 2 single-handedly reserved and a 3rd shared with their RumJager Alliance. Some would call this rigged (Go ahead and think that. If you do, then you clearly aren't paying enough attention at the bar and should probably get your team off their bar stools and give the top seeded teams a run for their money) but really, the Bar Buzz was a competition the Jagers were meant to win. And we're not talking about their drinking capabilities (although those are pretty sweet). When it comes to the Belt, our friends in Urple succeed where it counts most: mixing, mingling and participation. However, what really gives them the edge is their longevity (sticking around for awhile in larger numbers) and making it to the midnight photo (a tradition they actually started). Ironically, this is where it could get tricky this season for the 'Nauts. Midnight staple, Ashlee "I dont need glitter because I'm carrying a baby" Gitkos might find it hard to keep her lids open to the magical hour and hubby, Kevin has already had to dip out early due to work commitments. Can the rest of the Jagers step up where it matters? Or will they be forced to find new and creative ways to make their presence known and become the first team on the Peninsula to gain more than 4 titles? The stakes certainly are high. Afterall, there are several Jager weddings taking place this summer hoping to have photos just like this:
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