Week 4 Gambling Lines

Post your picks in the comments section and if you pick eight out of nine correctly you win a free pitcher of what Luckie’s calls beer that night!  But seriously, free beer is free beer and all it takes is typing about 20 characters below.  If you post your picks on the Facebook page, then you’re probably a gambling genius who wins millions in Vegas, but you will receive no beer.  This was an especially fun set of lines to write because my memory of oddsmaking for Week 4 is somewhat blurry.  Watch the podcast to laugh at my inability to hold my booze, or to enjoy the Wellbrock brand eye-candy.  Either way, you win.

This is going to keep me up tonight.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time vs. Foul Balls

The brave and hard-partying citizens of Foul Territory have their sights set on annexing the nearby nation of PBJ.  Slurred reports from the Foul Balls leadership indicate they require the rich Peanut Butter based economy of PBJ in order to ease their hangovers.  The Nutter Butters do not plan on going quietly into that gentle night as protests have erupted in the streets and Brent Obershaw, star of the upcoming documentary “The Dictator”, has rallied the troops to defend their borders.  The streets will run orange Wednesday night.  Foul Balls (-1.5)

5 O’Clockers vs. Battlestar Ballsacktica

I don’t know anything about the television show, so let’s imagine the Battlestar is the Death Star.  The 5 O’Clockers have looked menacing this season in their Dart Vader-black uniforms.  Like Lord Vader, the Clockers are going to get all up in that Deathstar.  This is a perfect analogy as long as there are no Star Wars nerds in our audience.  Clockers continue their impressive roll over an improving Battler/Deathstar team.  Clockin’ Out (-2.5)

Bonus Pick: Over/Under on number of hotly contested and controversial calls in this game: 4

Rumspring vs. Chubby Gangsters

The shotgun challenge should play a big role in determining the outcome of this matchup.  The Gangsters are prepping the C-130 Spectre Gunship that is Geoff Morehart after Rumspringa pitcher Matt Wellbrock’s assertion that he will pitch around no man.  These two teams have history like the Book of Kells.  It all adds up to this week’s official gambling lines cop-out line! Pick ‘em.

JKI vs. Moose Knuckles

The Exhalted Eternal Lodge of the Moose had a white knuckler against PBJ after the Jelly oozed back into the game late to make it interesting.  JKI were victims of the Foul Balls revolution in Week 3 as their on-field woes continued.  Don’t expect the Lodge to make the same mistakes late in Week 4.  Welcome to Mooseport! (-5.5)

Burning Bridges vs. Jagernauts

The Mick Jagger-nats will be aided by the return of lead guitarist Dan Moore, who they missed in a Week 3 loss to Kick Ass.  The Burning Bridges have faced tough competition early in the Spring season and it doesn’t get much easier for them against a veteran Jagernauts team.  Expect both teams to bring their A game after Week 3 losses, but the Bridges earn a little extra credit for their schedule and get the edge.  Burning Bridges (-1.5)

New Kickheads on the Block vs. Chicken Tetrazzini

The Kickheads have yet to find the right stuff in three weeks of underwhelming effort on the fields.  Hope springs eternal in Week 4 with this matchup of hard partying teams.  The Angry Birds schedule of late games takes a slight break in Week 4.  They are just sober enough and full of overcooked hot dogs to earn their second win of the season.  CT (-1.0)

Shake n’ Bake vs. Free Ballin’

The Balls have been set themselves free from the bourgeois concepts of “wins” and “losses” this season by tying three straight.   The Bakers shook off a Week 2 loss to the Bridges by tying the 5 O’Clockers and blowing out PBJ in Week 3.  Peeta threw Katniss his crumbs, but this is a Bakers team with a killer attitude that President Snow would be proud of.  Ain’t nuthin’ in this world free! SNB (-1.5)

Ka-kaw!

JFK vs. Kick Ass

Kick Ass has been slowly revealing their diabolical plans for world domination to the WAKA Peninsula community in the young Spring season, and Lois Lane reports that we may see their evil alter egos emerge in Week 4.  The Dead Kennedys earned an impressive Week 3 win over Burning Bridges and look to be the same Kennedys team we’ve come to know in this league.  The Condor Daniel Shaw and Hass Dooby will both take to the grassy knoll in a classic, beastly pitcher’s duel.  Kick Ass wants to prove they belong near the top of the league, but JFK will look to prove why they’ve been there for years.  Dead Kennedys (-1.0)

Moose Knuckles vs. Burning Bridges

We don’t need no water let the mother*c%er burn!  The Moose Knuckles will be feeling that burning and itching feeling after meeting the Bridges in Week 4.  The Bridge, the Bridge is on fire (-3.5)