Bar Buzz: Week 10, Spring 2012

Our new "we just got kicked out of the bar" tradition

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Really, I do. But someone's gotta tell you.... And seriously, it's not me - it's you. And, well, I've tried for the last 10 weeks to help you understand that this was coming and I'm just not sure that you really get it.  But... after next week... we're through.

No more Wobble-ing on the dance floor with 60 of your closest, sweaty friends (10 of them wearing the exact same t-shirt as you).  You'll no longer have to rush to the bar in order to insure that you get one last pounder before they "run out" and you have to close your tab so you can drink from the outside patio bar. And what if you're craving some cheap vodka, artificial fruit flavoring and red bull? Well, I'm sorry - you're just going to have to mix it yourself and hope you still have some of those flimsy plastic cups laying around your place. I know you're not prepared for this. None of us ever really are. But hey, look! The good news is you can still find a way to live out your kickball fantasies. But that's not really the point of this section of the blog now is it? At least now that you've dealt with the cold, hard facts... you can celebrate last week's Bar Buzz victories and rally the troops for one last shot at the highly (and nationally) esteemed and greatly coveted golden belt - a symbol of the socially elite.


15. Just For Kicks
14. 5 O'Clockers
13. New Kickheads on the Block
12. Shake N Bake
11. Free Ballin


10. Moose Knuckles: It appears the Knuckles have accomplished the impossible task of getting lost in a pair of Ralphie Mae's spandex shorts... can they make the come back of the century or is their highly anticipated comeback lost forever (unlike the pounds Ralphie lost in Celebrity Fit Club)?


9. Just Kickin'-It: Looks like JKI finally decided to really kick it with us once and for all. Could it be enough just in time to cinch their final belted opportunity?

8. Battlestar Ballsacktica: Our retinas were burning once again with the blur of safety orange. And while the sacks are becoming more consistent in their attendance, it's going to take just a little more than the presence of the Silent Killer to take them back to the top.


7. Peanut Butter Jelly: Much like Jif's dedication to winning over choosy moms, PBJ is certainly uping their game in the quest for our championship. And much like that early morning rush to the school bus, can they get it together in time?

Jesus?! Is that you??

6. Burning Bridges - While it's true they did bring Jesus to party, in a week where everyone was bringing their A game the Bridges needed something a little bit closer to walking on water (or at least turning water into WAKA bombs and making the pounders last all night) to take them to the top.

5. Rumspringa & Jagernauts: I suppose the return of RumJager was inevitable and while it wasn't an official reunification of our original alliance, this week the (highly scientific) scores decided to speak for themselves. And as the end of the season draws near, we do have to question whether or not Rumspringa will be able to take home the belt for the season on their own.

Proof is in the Pudding there Hoffman.

4. Chicken Tetrazinni: Although Andrea Hoffman tried diligently to sabotage the Foulies fun by breaking Brad Gault's camera, perhaps the Angry Birds should have been focused on a different brethren this week.


3. Foul Balls: Our tried and true Foulies were all over the place this week but it wasn't quite enough this week to win out the battle at the top. Perhaps there should be some swift negotiations for a a tried and true "Foul Ass" alliance.

2. Kick Ass: Well you certainly have to give it to them... For a team who's also at the top of the "less important" field standings, Kick Ass is still, well, Kicking Ass at the bar (seriously, that play on words will never get old). And while their efforts this week were valiant (some would say un-rigged), the Gangsters commitment to celebrating "old school" finally pushed them over the edge.


1. Chubby Gangsters: Call it a birthday gift. Call it a welcoming mat for our newly appointed commish. Whatever you want to call it, don't call it rigged. This week's champions are awarded the belt for their commitment to the spirit of the belt (having fun, for fun's sake) and their consistent dedication to our social experience. While it's true that many of us -- if not all -- do this every week, no one can truly deny that the presence of those baby blues at the bar every week is a source of comfort and pride in a social sport we all hold near and dear. This week the Gangsters, in a sign of solidarity for their leader (and as a thanks for all those selfless shots taken with each team) finally placed themselves amongst the elite and golden belted.

Say what?!? We won??

Until next time - Bottoms Up!

xoxo gossip girl