Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Week 10 Gambling Lines


The Eurozone stands on the brink of collapse as the world economy stands at the precipice of disaster staring down into the deep abyss of global insecurity…Kickball Gambling Lines!

Shake n’   Bake (-5.0) over Chicken Tetrazzini
It doesn’t matter how angry you are, if you’re a chicken then you have to shudder when you hear the words “Shake n’ Bake”.  I think Paul loved the homemade chicken tetrazzini.  It was enough to get him to philander, but it won’t be enough to take down SNB’s league leading offensive attack. 

JFK (-8.0) over Peanut Butter Jelly Time
You really haven’t been properly welcomed to the Virginia Peninsula league until you’ve stared down the unnerving glare of The Freed across a kickball field.  Peanut Butter Jelly has been steadily adjusting to life in our sick twisted little kickball commune, but this week they will learn the story behind the old adage: “If The Condor is on the hill, your score will be nil.”

Jagernauts (-0.5) over JKI
JKI has had an up and down season, but they are definitely up after an upset of Free Ballin’ at Tabb Middle School.  The Nauts have been biding their time all season while they collected the necessary crystals to fire up their Weather Dominator©.  Question: Is Kim Merritt Destro?  Discuss amongst yourselves while he hides his silver helmet. 

I don’t know a thing about physics, but this makes total sense to me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGx1Bqgkg08

Kick Ass (-5.5) over Foul Balls
Kick Ass needs one win to sew up the #1 tournament seed heading into the final week of the season.  The Foul Balls stand in their way and want nothing more than to play spoiler to the lofty ambitions of the Golden Children.  I’m too overcome with emotion to write anymore.  Only Bart Scott really knows how I feel (great).

Chubby Gangsters (-2.5) over Jagernauts
The Gangsters look to stay in the race for a high seed against a Jagernauts team which is struggling to crawl out from the basement of the Peninsula standings.  The best tactic for the Jagernauts in this game might be distracting the Gangsters by inviting them into their parents’ basement to watch a special edition director’s cut of the live action film Care Bears: The Reckoning Stare that Justin Littell has been busy filming in the off week.  Early leaks indicate that the Care Bears face their greatest threat ever when Pop n’ Fresh teams up with the Snuggle Bear to create delicious breakfast pastries laced with fabric softener. 

I really want this movie to happen now. 

Battlestar Ballsacktica vs. JKI   Pick ‘em
The super best friends club may have difficulty scoring against a dangerous JKI squad.  This is this week’s copout pick. 

Burning Bridges (-2.5) over Rumspringa
Rumspringa is smarting from a JFK thrashing in Week 8 while the Bridges stout defense has them making their way back towards the top of the standings.  The outcome of this game will have major repercussions for tournament seeding heading into the final week of the season.  The Bridges own the almighty “Mo” and get the edge over the Rumspringa, but don’t be shocked to see this closer than the experts think.

5 O’Clockers (-3.5) over Moose Knuckles
The Clockers are one of two remaining unbeaten teams in the Peninsula and the Moose Knuckles have struggled lately trying to stay above the .500 mark as we near the finish line.

Free Ballin’ (-4.5) over New Kickheads on the Block
Free Ballin’ hopes to mount a late season surge up the standings beginning with the winless New Kickheads.  Neither team scores many runs, but the NKOTB defense has surrendered a league worst 6.75 per game.  

Moose Knuckles (-1.0) over Battlestar Ballsacktica
The Moose Knuckles have pulled out some close wins during the season while the Battlestar has been on the receiving end of some bad bounces.  The Moose Knuckles will pull out late in this 9:30 matchup.  

4 comments:

  1. SnB
    PBJ will prevent JFK from covering 8 runs
    Jagers
    KA
    CG's
    Battle
    Rum (UPSET OF THE WEEK!!)
    5OC
    Free
    Battle

    ReplyDelete
  2. SNB
    PBJ
    JAGER
    KA
    BATTLE
    BRIDGES
    5OC
    FREE
    BATTLE

    ReplyDelete
  3. SnB
    PBJ
    JKI
    Kick Ass
    Jagernauts
    JKI
    Burning Bridges
    Moose Knuckles
    NKOB
    Battlestar

    ReplyDelete
  4. SB
    PBJ
    JAGER
    KA
    CHUBBY
    BATTLE
    BURNING
    5 OCLOCKERS
    NKOB
    MOOSE

    ReplyDelete