The gambling lines have officially returned from
hiatus. I will pause to allow each and
every one of you to celebrate as you see fit.
I know I’ve let so many of you down in the past, but my solemn promise
is to never again disregard your collective kickball addiction (until next
week). If you’re new to the league or
need a refresher on the gambling lines rules because they haven’t been posted
in months, here is how the game operates.
Readers are encouraged to make their picks against the lines set by the
3 Up, 3 Down crew on the weekly podcast in the comments section below, or in
the alternative, make your picks in the comments section of the Facebook post
of this article. If you’ve been doing
your deep research on injuries, inner-team dynamics and player work schedules,
and you can pick 8 out of 9 games correctly you will win free beer at Luckie’s! So, to recap: if you take 7 minutes out of
your busy schedule to read this post, then all you need to do is invest another
30 seconds to type in your picks and maybe take another 45 seconds to tell me
what a moron I am. In return, you earn
the chance for FREE BEER. Where else is
the risk/reward structure so heavily slanted in the favor of the
pseudo-gambler? Nowhere outside of a
Nigerian email scam as far as I know.
Enough talk…it’s time to get it on.
Just for Kicks (-7.0) over Rumspringa
The Springa have struggled early in the fall campaign, while
JFK is off to one of their hottest starts in recent memory. Last week saw continued JFK dominance over
Pitch Please while the Rumspringa faltered after a hot start against the 5 O’Clockers. This game has me feeling a little like King
Solomon as I am forced to pick betwixt my two biggest kickball crushes on the
Peninsula: Troy “The Blind Squirrel” Southall and Ms. Emily Ross Cook. While I ride out this emotional rollercoaster
privately, I have no qualms about publicly predicting a JFK victory. The Freed could take a holiday in Cambodia
this week and the Dead Kennedys would still be able to pull out the win. Somewhere Matt Wellbrock just shoved his Jay
Cutler bobblehead and Ricky Holmes quietly stepped into his “anger dojo”. I hope it helps.
5 O’Clockers (-3.5) over Pitch Please!
Both of these squads impressively overcame early deficits in
their week 3 victories, most notably Pitch Please’s 5 run outburst in the
bottom of the fifth to steal a win away from the Chubby Gangsters. The Clockers have gathered their lunchpails
and punched in after a week 1 loss to JFK and are living up to their blue
collar name. We expect a workman like
performance again this week as the Clockers look to boost their title defense
with a game they should win. However,
looking past this talented Pitch Please team would be a mistake as they are led
by talented veterans who have brought in a host of soccer talent.
Battlestar Ballsacktica (-2.5) over Foul Balls
Both of these teams have seen marked improvement over the
past two seasons in what should be a quality matchup. Both teams feature a long bomber with Dennis
Gholson and Geoff Morehart as well as underappreciated chargers with Joe
Presault and Michael Machie on Foul Balls and Battlestar, respectively. This game should be decided by the lesser known
role players on each team where Battlestar has a laundry list of quality
veterans and the Foul Balls have….Wade Brock.
Yikes. Andy Doye…show me some
photoshop to prove me wrong! WAKA WAKA!
Free Ballin’ (-2.0) over Chicken Tetrazzini
The Free Balls are off to a considerably better start (3-0-0)
than last season’s 0-0-3 beginning while the team of Paul’s favorite entrée had
their early season winning streak snapped by the Battlestar. The Angry Birds like to play long ball, but I’ve
yet to meet the woman or man who can consistently send a Mark Flores pitch
deep. The edge goes to Free Ballin’ on
the strength of their all-around defense which features quality players in all
of the key positions.
Chubby Gangsters (-2.5) over New Kickheads on the Block
The Kickheads have shown improvement in the fall season
where really all they could do was improve over a forgettable spring
campaign. The Chubbies have a let a
couple of games slip out of their grasp in the early going and find themselves
sitting at 2-2. If Kim Merritt can push
last week’s loss out of his mind, if he can even remember last week’s loss,
then the Gangsters should move forward and get the win.
Peanut Butter Jelly Time (-11.0) over Wasted Talent
Commenters on the PBJT Facebook group page took issue with
this line. Did you hear that Wasted
Talent? Give ‘em a little jelly and they
want a damn peanut butter jar.
Kick Ass vs. The Situation Pick ‘Em
KA1L has shrugged off the pundits’ talk of a “rebuilding
year” in starting out to a 2-0-1 start while The Situation has fought to two
hard earned ties against elite Peninsula teams in the past two weeks. Both teams have tied Burning Bridges 2-2,
which makes this an especially difficult game to pick. My inside sources tell me that the outcome
could be heavily decided by who shows u p and is available for each squad. Therefore, in one of the biggest games of the
week I present the 3U3D “copout pick of the week!” Go ahead and Pick ‘Em!
Burning Bridges (-2.0) over Foot Snipers
The Bridges have been hot, hot, hot while the Foot Snipers
have missed the mark in the opening three weeks of regular season competition. Could a Snipers squad this talented really
fall to 0-4? Will the Bridges refocus
after a distracting week in the media and other kickball fields to assert
themselves as contenders? Will Ryan
Schmid’s GoPro camera prove that Justin Schauf catch any footage of Justin
Schauf on the kickball field? So many
important questions to be answered in this primetime matchup, however, the
house has to give the edge to the team that’s playing the best kickball right
now and in this matchup the Bridges are the overwhelming choice.
RUM
ReplyDeletePITCH
BATTLE
FREE
CHUBBY
WASTED
KA1<3
BRIDGES
"Will Ryan
ReplyDeleteSchmid’s GoPro camera prove that Justin Schauf catch any footage of Justin
Schauf on the kickball field?" What does that even mean?
Here are my picks.
Rum
5OC
Battle
Ballin
Chubby
PBJ
Sitch
Snipers