No kickball??! No problem!! The Ballsacks were in Halloween spirit anyway as they pretty much all dressed up for the Halloween Bash at Luckies. And it wasn't easy getting there! The Ballsacks met at an undisclosed place to get ready...I say undisclosed because they left behind so much carnage and destruction, that they would all be thrown in jail for decades if they were associated with being there.
Let's see...the Legion of Doom pair, "Hawk" (Brandon Silver) and "Animal" (George Kiriazidis) ganged up on Rowdy Roddy Piper (Michael Machie) and Sting (Peter Kuhr) with several combination moves of head locks and body slams. They took out a few walls and a water pipe busted. The water spewed all over Hillbilly Jim (Philip Tanner) and his knocked-up, toothless Hillbilly lady, so he got into it by shoving Hawk's head in a nearby toilet and flushing it, thereby performing the awesome wrestling move called "The Swirly".
Meanwhile Mick Foley (Andy Tapley) was making fun of Miss Elizabeth's (Nicole Plesha) underwear. Well, that pissed off Macho Man Randy Savage(Mike Graziano)!!! Nobody messes with his lady!!! Macho Man took one of his Slim Jim's (which was neatly tucked away in his tights not moments before) and shoved it in Mick Foley's ear and pulled it out the other side. Yeah, I didn't think it was possible either?! That new move is now called "The Slim Jim Wax Remover"! "OH YEAHHHH!!!!!!" Hulk Hogan (Joe Stumpo) saw Mick picking on a lady and went Roid Rage all over everybody! He tore his shirt, picked up a chair, bashed Hawk in the head and laid him out. Then went outside and took a water hose, brought it in and wrapped Rowdy Roddy Piper and Hillbilly Jim up with it, and smashed their skulls together. It was reported that they were both knocked out for at least 10 minutes... all the while, the referee's Erin "Stop That!" Machie, Karen "Silent Killer" Savell (Hey, it works here, too...), Alison "Don't make me come over there!" Easterday, and Lorraine "Don't even think about f***ing with me, I'll karate chop yer ass!" Adkins, were trying their best to break things up so they could at least get a group photo before leaving to tear up Luckies.
I think only 10 wrestlers left with black eyes....oh, wait, that's everybody! Oh well... The Ref's corralled them into their vehicles and FINALLY got to Luckies where they entered with Hulk Hogan carrying the United States flag in front. It was reported that all the Ref's got drunk, Macho Man Randy Savage ending up eating his own Slim Jim's from his tights, and Sting stuffed his crotch with Halloween candy, then offered it to his fellow wrestlers. It was a fun night had by all, and Battlestar Ballsacktica reported that they are the self proclaimed winners of the Halloween contest!!
No one got themselves killed during the making of the group photo. Any and all damage made by the WWE will be paid for in full by WAKA officials...or so they were told.
Disclaimer: No kittens were harmed in the making of this blog.
It was real, I tell ya! IT WAS REAL!!!!!!!!!
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