May 1, 2013 Gambling Lines

Tomorrow marks the most important day of the calendar year: May the 1^st.  Not only will this glorious day be chock full of intense WAKA Peninsula , but the man behind the blog, behind the beard, and behind the hottest ginger in the league will be celebrating his birthday tomorrow.  To start the party off right, I bring you May 1^st themed gambling lines.

The author turning 20.  

'cause I'm doing whatever I want this week.

Misfits (-4.5) over Chicken Tetrazzini

1991: Rickey Henderson sets the record for most stolen bases in a career.  Kim Merritt was playing catcher.  After the game Rickey taught him everything he knows….about kickball.

1957: Larry King goes on the air for his first show.  Kim Merritt produces.  Larry teaches him everything he knows….about fashion.

5 O’Clockers (-1.5) over That Just Happened

Official Matt Wellbrock Upset Special: TJH

1863: The Battle of Chancellorsville begins.  General Stonewall Jackson is mortally wounded during the fight by friendly fire and perishes several days later.  This showdown might not be nearly as epic, but the this could be a season-defining game for TJH.

Who’s Driving Home (-4.5) over New Kickheads

1941: Citizen Kane is released, perhaps the finest film ever made.  This game will not measure up.  Oh, Rosebud.

Kick Ass (-0.5) over Moose Knuckles

2011: Osama bin Laden is killed by U.S. Navy Seals.

2013: Nathaniel Johnson and Kick Ass sends Jesse Jones home in tears…hardly a coincidence.

Foul Balls vs. Dirty Mike: Pick ‘Em

1948: The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (that’s North Korea) is established.  I was unable to decide if this applied more to Foul Balls or Dirty Mike and the Boyz, so it’s a toss-up to decide who is more evil.

Pop Pop (-4.5) over Battlestar Ballsacktica

1898: Commodore George Dewey leads the United States Navy to a decisive victory over the Spanish fleet in the opening days of the Spanish-American War.  Like those glorious weapons of American imperialism, Pop Pop will hammer the Battlestar into submission.

Rumspringa vs. Free Ballin’: Pick ‘Em

1969: Wes Anderson is born.  The quirky director that brought us modern comedy classics such as The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, and The Life Aquatic has a penchant for crafting off kilter tales of odd characters caught in complicated relationships.  He could write and direct the Rumspringa Story.

Pop Pop (-6.5) over Foul Balls

1960: An American U2 spy plane is shot down over the Soviet Union.  The Foul Balls’ dreams of an upset will be similarly quickly and viciously shot down. 

PBJ (-3.5) over Chubby Gangsters       

Bonus: Over/Under 12.5 total runs        

2003: President George W. Bush declares “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq.  After winning, PBJ grabs the Wentworth Trophy and declares Mission Accomplished.

                                        Thanks John, Paul, Ringo and George!