This league continues to impress me. The passion, the joy, the dedication, the dancing... Last night we closed out the summer season with a thrilling finish.
Before I get to the actual bowling, thanks to everyone that participated in the weekly contests and to the various winners that donated their share, we accumulated $104 for this season's donation to charity which will be made to Relay For Life via our local team, CLUBWAKA Kicks Cancer!
Obviously Not Golfers (ONG) finished the regular season in fifth place out of twelve teams with an average weekly total 178 pins behind top seeded Blurred Lanes, but still high enough to earn the right to compete for the Bud Light trophy. ONG entered the postseason as heavy underdogs. Even with an extra bowler on their roster, if you add up the season averages of all seven Not Golfers (851.7) they still fell well short of the combined averages of the six bowlers on Blurred Lanes (900.7) and even just shy of the six bowlers from second seeded Big Booty Throws (853.4). But championships aren't won on paper!! ... ... ... Well, maybe if you're playing tic tac toe...
Clearly a championship run facing these unfathomable odds and inconceivable obstacles would be nothing short of the greatest story in the history of sport-... nay... the history of the universe. In fact, keep this little bowling league in mind because every great tale from now to eternity will be based on the story of Obviously Not Golfers, but somehow altered just enough to avoid paying me...
ONG squeaked by in the first week of the playoffs, bowling above 1200 as a team for the first time all season (1204). With Blurred Lanes bowling 1307 and Big Booty Throws bowling 1391, ONG made the championship round as "That other team over on the other lanes cuz there's sposeda be three teams that advance." But that couldn't keep the spirits of ONG down. They celebrated advancing to the championship round as if they had just won the women's World Cup.
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| I'm still sad Brent refused to bring the rest of the USWNT for the championship round... |
Blurred Lanes had a 42 pin lead after the first game over ONG and a 114 pin lead over Big Booty Throws. But with each passing frame, the gap between Blurred Lanes and Obviously Not Golfers slowly disappeared. Coming down to the crucial tenth and final frame of the second game, the gap was gone and the pressure ramped up for Blurred Lanes to need to perform. With each ball, the Bud Light trophy hung in the balance. As each score was updated, the excitement built at the ONG table in direct relation to the disappointment at the Blurred Lanes table. Every throw felt like it could clinch the title... but it never happened. When the final rake dropped, the scores were tallied and retallied. Obviously Not Golfers had done it besting Blurred Lanes and Big Booty Throws on the day with scores of 1208, 1201, and 1082 respectively.
HOWEVER, in the championship round for the cup trophy, Flame Throwers bowled a 1209 on the day. Yup, that's better than 1208. We'll take both trophies now, thank you!... ... ... Oh, that's not the rule?... ... ... Oh well, winning's winning.
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| The trophy on the left is way cuter. #Biased |
SEASON'S BEST
(including playoffs)
Avg Game Series
203.6 254 457 Guy Sumrell (Rumspringa Slingas)
187.7 235 422 Ed Aaron (But Stuff)
184.0 235 424 Jason Williamson (Big Booty Throws)
180.9 232 408 Dwight Polka (Blurred Lanes)
178.1 246 423 Brad Gault (Flame Throwers)
159.4 182 357 Eric Poulin (10PinA$$a$$ins)
158.6 210 354 Theodore Phillips (What's In My Pocket?)
152.3 233 354 Jeff Campbell (Blurred Lanes)
152.1 176 344 Brandon Whitaker (What's In My Pocket?)
149.3 197 355 Brandon Silver (Big Booty Throws)
Avg Game Series
177.8 211 383 Kristen Saunders (Obviously Not Golfers)
145.2 203 362 Rose Hughes (But Stuff)
140.6 175 329 Carole Sterling (Flame Throwers)
136.5 174 295 Jessica Ryan (Blurred Lanes)
136.1 169 327 Yanitza Borrero (Blurred Lanes)
133.9 175 304 Journey Schmidt (10PinA$$a$$ins)
130.6 184 335 Lindsay Strickland (Big Booty Throws)
129.8 161 275 Julie Bowers (Big Booty Throws)
123.4 198 303 Abbie Watson (Hip Swivels)
123.2 178 303 Christabelle Keonacorn (I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter)
MOST IMPROVED
(Summer game average compared to spring)
+28.6 David Merritts (Hip Swivels)
+21.5 Jennifer Neal (Flame Throwers)
+20.9 Guy Sumrell (Rumspringa Slingas)
+19.2 Kristen Saunders (Obviously Not Golfers)
+19.1 Jacob Kirsteatter (Lickity Splits)
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