CLUBWAKA MLS - Spring 19 Week 5

WEEK 5 - Something in the Water

I tried to get Snoop to stop by Ft. Monroe on his way back from the festival to play as a guest player for All Bark No Bite, but he... errr... didn't bite.  Pretty sure his hustlin' and lung capacity would have come in handy.  Unfortunately, I think he refused to come b/c I wouldn't let him put gin in his halftime Capri Sun.  Either way, I digress... Not sure whether it was the festival or actually something in the water, but Week 5 was some undermanned squads and some lopsided victories.  

As you can tell by a Saturday blog, my week was characterized by an out of town wedding and then working and catching up on things around the house all week.  Thus, I hope you shall not stone me to death for my lack of blog punctuality and instead use it to fuel your enthusiasm for Week 6 tomorrow which is Cinco de Mayo soooo you know what that means...

HOUSEKEEPING

1.  Let's lead with the most gossip-worthy piece of news from this week and something I'll address directly rather than beating around the bush.  In the Biercelona/Hangover game, Hangover noticed a couple of faces they didn't recognize and asked for a roster check.  The ref had me pull up the rosters and we reviewed everyone's IDs from Biercelona.  Two players playing in the game were not on the roster.  As discussed at the Captain's meeting and in the blog last season, this is a CLUBWAKA no-no and results in a forfeit of the current game and a DQ from the playoffs.  We're moving on from this but two things I want the league to be clear on: a) this is an issue b/c we need everyone to sign their liability waiver, we need a list of who is playing in the league should something happen at the fields, and everyone has to pay to play in the league.  b) we will ALWAYS work with the captains if there is an issue coming up where you may have to forfeit or have someone leave during the season and it puts you in a pickle.  Just gotta give us a head's up.  We've done it multiple times this season and we really try to make it as easy as possible for you to field a team each week. 

LET US HELP YOU!

2.  Mother's Day photos have been completed and printed.  Ryan and I will be out with the cameras on Sunday, so if you still want a digital photo taken that you can email or get printed yourself, glad to take them.  For those that got them taken, come see me if I don't see you first!  Also, if anyone wants team photos before or after a game -- feel free to just flag one of us down.  

WEEK 5 RESULTS AND STANDINGS

Retired Athletes vs. Misfits

Misfits has some offensive firepower.  For realsies.  Davin Field, Trey Engleburg, and Gary Johnson make for a formidable trio that may take them to the MLS Cup.  Playoffs are just around the corner so we won't have to wait long.  Retired Athletes was playing down players, but captain Hector Ramos continues to rally the troops and if they have a full squad come playoff time, the League Two Bracket better watch out.  

Final - Misfits 8 - 0 Retired Athletes

Netkicks and Chill vs. Hot and Messi

It's safe to say that Netkicks is the Leicester City of CLUBWAKA MLS.  Top of the table through 5 weeks and has only given up 5 goals all season.  They've clinched a top 8 finish and are looking likely to at least finish in the top 4 if not in first.  Meanwhile, Hot and Messi had tons of promise with all of Dave Chappell's offseason recruiting but unfortunately they've had a lot of injuries and absences.  So much so that this past Sunday has a 19 person roster only produce 5 players to start the game.  Another team that will make some serious noise if they have all the pieces come together in the playoffs, so don't sleep on 'em.  

Final - Netkicks and Chill 6 - 1 Hot and Messi

PKs and IPAs vs. Ronaldo McDonaldo

Ronaldo McDonaldo sits at the top of the table with Netkicks as the only two undefeated teams with Netkicks ahead with less goals against.  This one was broken open early as Brad Kirby buried two for Ronaldo.  Chris Sharrett put in a hell of a shift for PKs and IPAs and was all over the field.  Ultimately, Ronaldo had too much firepower and hopped over IPAs.  

Final - Ronaldo McDonaldo 9 - 2 PKs and IPAs

All Stars FC vs. Moat Monsters

In what sounds like an amazing game, All Stars FC took down Moat Monsters despite being down 2 at halftime.  The lady all stars were a huge contributor in the game with Sarah Korecky playing a part in two of the 4 goals.  All Stars continue to solidify their place in the top 8 in their first season.  Moat falls to 3-2, but should be safe in the top 8.  

Final - All Stars FC 4 - 3 Moat Monsters

All Bark No Bite vs. Kick in a Box

Pretty sure Kick in a Box won this game b/c of their elite warm-up regimen when they showed up at 11:45 for their 2 PM game.  How do you not win with 2 hours of warm up?  With a brace by Takuya Mataki, Kick in a Box put up 4.  While All Bark No Bite is winless on the season, they put up some serious fight in this one with two golazos by Pat Downing and Gabe Fricke.  

Final - Kick in a Box 4 - 2 All Bark No Bite

Defenders of the Bridge vs. Oozlekicks

Another double digit win for Oozlekicks as they have locked in a spot in the MLS Cup Bracket.  Let by Tom Weniger's 5 goals and Jayme Johnson's 3, Oozlekicks continues to dominate the bottom of the table.  Meanwhile, DOTB hopes to rebound against Retired Athletes in Week 6.  

Final - Oozlekicks 11 - 0 Defenders of the Bridge

Biercelona vs. Hangover 86 FC

The outcome was discussed above, but before the roster violation Hangover was up 2-1 at halftime with a couple of goals from Jerald Jorge.  Biercelona was on the board with a goal from Edgardo Martinez.  Hangover takes on Kick in a Box next week which will be an important one when it comes to playoff seeding.

Final - Hangover 86 FC 5 - 0 Biercelona (Forfeit) -- actual score was 2-1 Hangover at halftime.

Look Ma No Hands vs. White Joggers

Look Ma came out like gangbusters in this one and blanked the White Joggers who had been on a hot streak for the first part of the season.  While putting up 6 goals against a top of the table team is impressive, what impressed me most in watching was their passing -- one and two touches all over the field and 5 different players putting one in the ol' onion bag.  White Joggers look to hold onto their top 8 finish against PKs and IPAs in Week 6.

Look Ma No Hands 6 - 0 White Joggers

With 4 teams at 3-2, 1 team at 2-2-1, and 4 teams at 1-3-1, LOTS can change in the last two weeks.  Color me intrigued.  After tomorrow's games, the picture should be a little clearer and we'll run through some scenarios in next week's blog heading into the last game of the regular season.  I'm also batting around the idea of looking for a few folks that may want to do some playoff analysis/capsules heading into the playoffs so if you're into that kind of thing, hit me up.  

TEAM OF THE WEEK - WEEK 5

Justin Forbes - 1 goal.  100% heart and effort for a team down players for the whole game.  

Jayme Johnson - Hat triiiiiiiiiiick for a dominant Oozlekicks squad.

Brad Kirby - Normally I'd avoid putting myself in the mix, but since Machie and Bailey nominated me, I figured this is my chance to pat myself on the back for the only time I'll ever score 5 goals in a game.

Takuya Makati - A brace for Kick in a Box to lead them over All Bark No Bite and keep them in the fight for the upper bracket.

Leonard Bernard - A calming presence for Look Ma and always bringing control and good communication.  Led to two goals this week for a team that's on the rise.

Melissa Sims - Despite DOTB getting blown out, Melissa's defensive prowess was called out by the opposing captain and deserves some serious recognition.  

Jesseca Thompson - First game in goal for Misfits this season and posts a shutout and Team of the Week honors.  Congrats!

THE RACE FOR THE GOLDEN BOOT

With 9 goals in his last two games, Tom Weniger has cleared a little space at the top of the leaderboard.  Davin Field of Misfits sits in second with 10 followed by two Ronaldo McDonaldos and a Moat Monster at 9.  In other news... Ronaldo McDonaldo and the Moat Monster would be a bad ass children's book.

PHOTOS OF THE WEEK

Brad Kirby's Selections

Jay Coble of Oozlekicks dives to his right to secure a shot in their 11-0 victory over DOTB.

Hector Ramos of Retired Athletes hits a cross as Lee Craig of Misfits closes in.

Blake Sexton and Miguel Ramos stop the game to do the Kid n' Play while Scott Troutman admires their moves.

WEEK 6 AT OOZLEFINCH

DD214 Smokehouse will be the Food Truck out there tomorrow, so grab yourself some meet and a cold Lady in White post-game.   And if you don't feel like hanging out, go home and order yourself some Papa John's before Game of Thrones comes on.

GAME OF THE WEEK - WEEK 6

Oozlekicks vs. Misfits

4-1 vs. 3-2.  Highest goal scorer in the league, Tom Weniger.  One of the best midfielders in the league in Dennis Zollicoffer.  Best keeper in the league - Jay Coble.  Vs. the offensive hydra of Trey Engelbert, Gary Johnson, Jake Uzzell, and Davin Field that is Misfits. This 3 PM game is going to be bananas.  Highly recommend folks hang around to watch.  Gonna have some serious playoff implications.

And no doubt.. Misfits are going to be ready to talk $h**, Play Dirty.

Hope your evening is irie.  See ya tomorrow, ya bald heads.  

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