Holy Tacky Super Suits, Batman!!

by Karen Savell, Battlestar Ballsacktica
Photos by Erin Herring & Stephanie Wacek, Battlestar Ballsacktica


The Supers were out last night battling it out for their mild mannered "friends" of Battlestar Ballsacktica! Team SBFC (that's Super Best Friends Club to all you mere mortals out there) took some time off from saving damsels in distress and, uh...basically the world... from all evil to come as one unit and try to bail out the Ballsacks from total forfeit.  Even then, only 10 Supers were available for the competition, but they did their best!

The Supers were home team so took they field first, each donning the well known SBFC Crest on their heroic chests.  JKI kicked away to right field where the Motley Masked Marauder chased after it but tripped on his cape, allowing JKI to score 3 runs in the first inning. (There have been reports that the Motley Masked Marauder may otherwise be known as a school teacher named MVPeter Kuhr,  but it can't be confirmed at this time) Either way, the Motley Masked Marauder brought his super kicking skills and got on base every time he was up. Let it be known that Edna Mode (Super suit tailor of all Supers) has said time and time again, "NO CAPE!!"

The Scarlet Sentinel made his appearance as first baseman! What an exciting show as he used his super powers to hang on to those errant throws to first! It also helped that he had his super wrist bands on which have a magnetic attraction to rubber balls...(sources say that The Scarlet Sentinal may in fact be none other than Joe Stumpo, since he did arrive in the Stumpmobile)

And what can I say about Captain AMERRRRRICA!! Filling in as catcher, Captain AMERRRRRICA thwarted many a bunt kick to scoop up with his super speed and hurl that sucker to first!  But best of all is his powers of Turbo Boost!  When asked what his secret of turbo boost is he said, "Well, I eat 4 bean burritos before each game."

"Oh, you mean for high protein and energy?" I asked.

"Oh, no! It actually helps to give me a super charged, and super stinky turbo boost! I let it kick in when I round second base. Unfortunately, it worked too well tonight. I almost passed the runner in front of me. Another thing that my Super Turbo Boost does is it leaves the outfield players confused and disoriented for a while.  Gives us an edge..." This super dude came over the plate twice! That turbo boost IS powerful! PEWWW!!! (Due to his stellar disguise, We really don't know who the hell this guy is, but if i had to make a guess, it might be Philip Tanner??)

Other Supers that showed up were the Awesome Plesha (whose super power is, um...being AWESOME! Her alter ego is reported as being Nicole Plesha.) I think the Plesha in "Awesome Plesha" gave it away.  Uh, ya think?! She got on base several times and even scored. The Kickinator Girl got on base and scored as well! (known for kicking the crap out of any ball put in front of her, including the crotch kind...AKA a mild mannered Vet Tech that saves puppy lives named Karen Savell. A Double Super! Not!), The Minstrel Matress Killer, who bravely rips off those "Do not remove this tag under penalty of law" matress tags so you don't have to risk going to jail doing it yourself.  Such bravery!! We think her alter ego may be Alison Easterly. Not sure. Don't quote me on that...

Also, X Man who has x-rated vision especially when he's lookin' at his girl (AKA Andy Tapley), the Caped Cadaver who has the power to wake the dead just by sneezing (AKA Kyle Rowley), The Ragged Doll whose super power is to save and recycle all material scraps from an untimely death.  There are several scraps added to her super suit against Edna Mode's wishes, of course. "NO CAPE!!"(AKA Erin Herring...possibly) and of course, last but not least, Lady Onomatopoeia! Her powers (BIFF!) speak (POW!) for themselves!(SMACK!) Or you can just read her cape for the same effect...(AKA Stephanie Wacek)

Oh yeah! The game!  They lost...7-5

The Super Heroes couldn't pull their super powers together to work in tandem. (let me hear a collective "Awwwwwwww") In their defense, 7 Supers were unaccounted for as they were away saving the world vanquishing evil so you could live in peace to see another tomorrow!

BUT they met up at Luckies after the game and what do you know?!  They won the best costumes of the night! And thats what it's all about! Great fun and good times with the SUPER BEST FRIENDS CLUB!