How To Win the Bar Buzz

How to win the Bar Buzz in 3 Easy Steps!

Well hey boo hey. WAKA Fall is back and so is the Bar Buzz Championship. My name is Marilee and I am suuuuuper excited to be judging the real contest of the season.  There were some questions about how to win this elusive title and I figured the best way would be to give you some pointers. I preface all my writing by saying that my inner monologue is that of a Latino Drag Queen from the Bronx. I find that reading anything I say in this voice heightens the experience. So without further ado; throw on your stilettos, grab a vodka sour (or 3) and hang on tight!

Step 1: Show up.

                Easy enough, right? Luckie’s is amazingly close to the fields. Here I will help you out: https://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en . You’re welcome.

 “But Marilee, I have work early/a long drive home/fear of WAKA bombs!”

                Oh stop that. Showing up for a little bit is better than nothing at all. And besides anyone who experienced the death traps known as WAKA bombs from the Cactus should be running with glee to the bar on Wednesday.  Oh and for all my “Lone Wolves” (what up True Blood reference) out there: Just because your team is lame that week, don’t think you won’t get special recognition from me. Keep reading. J

Step 2: Have fun!

                Do you kid, do you. Maybe you like to dance your face off (been there), try and make out with teammates (done that), or take naps on those sweet leather couches (see last weekend).  Whatever floats your boat!

“But Marilee, I don’t drink/don’t know enough people/don’t know how to wobble!”

Calm down yo! First off hydration is sexy. So you chug that water and you will be glowing, refreshed, and bright eyed for the midnight photo. Secondly, WAKA is really welcoming! So long as you are wearing a WAKA shirt, we will welcome you with open arms. (Unlike those creepers who are there randomly on a weeknight looking to get some. ) And lastly, you have come to the right place to learn how to wobble. Here, I will help you again! (I got you boo.)

Step 3: Find ME!

                Now, I am short so that may make it hard. However, I am usually loud and dancing. Say hey! Take a picture! Add me as a facebook/instagram/twitter friend (Mar1lee- hollatcha girl) I am a sucker for peer pressure so telling me why you should win may actually work! Also, if I know your name and face it makes it easier to remember all that went down mid WAKA bombs. Oh hey, and while you are there get a girl a vodka sour or tell me I am hilarious. Bribery is encouraged folks.

Now, for all you Lone Wolves…….

                Let’s say you are out AND doing your damn thing AND you bought me a WAKA bomb. But, wait? What’s that? Your team is at home in their pj’s watching Top Chef??? Don’t despair. You are eligible to win the coveted MVP award. It is sparkly and you can wear it. So, if that’s not motivation enough, well then I can’t help you.

Finally the highly technical and fair equation I will use to determine the winner. I took Algebra like twice so I think this is right:

(# of players at Luckie’s  / #of players that leave immediately following the AMP + average # of dancing teammates + average # of cornhole players + average number of flip cuppers – the # of players who drive unsafely ) raised by how many drinks you buy me= a semi relevant score

In the words of RuPaul:

Good luck, and don’t fuck it up!

Marilee <3