Week 4 Gambling Lines: Fact!

When this man demands gambling lines in full patriotic regalia, I answer.

The BCS standings are not released for college football until after week 4 of the regular season.  Likewise, the brilliant mind behind the WAKA VA Peninsula gambling lines has chosen to not release lines until after each team has 4 games under their belt.  This allows the House to write the most accurate and precise fake kickball prognostications possible.  For those of you who are unaware, or forgot during the extended one month hiatus, here’s how the system works.  In the comments section of this Facebook post, place your bets against the spread for all nine games.  If you pick 7 out of 9 correctly, then you win a free beer from the House (Jorts) at Luckies.  It won’t cost you a dime, just a couple minutes of your time.  Hell, you might even learn something in the process.   Geography myths and facts!

Foul Balls (-5.5) over New Kickheads

Fact: Both the Foul Balls and New Kickheads franchises have suffered from twenty game losing streaks. 

Fact: Both streaks ended after their respective captains won Blades of Steel International Championships playing as the Winnipeg Jets.

5 O’Clockers (-6.5) over Chubby Gangsters

Fact: The 5 O’Clockers franchise was founded in a bizarre reenactment of the Defenestration of Prague at Stone Mountain, Georgia, in 1971.

Just For Kicks (-1.0) over  Pop Pop

Fact: Just For Kicks is a diversified multinational corporation which owns a minority interest in Pollos Hermanos, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. 

Kick Ass vs. Free Ballin’ Pick ‘Em

Fact: If this game ends in a tie, Manny Anderson and Mary Katherine Evans Hogg have a notarized contract stating that both teams will play a best of seven series in international waters twelve miles off the coast, however within the two hundred mile exclusive economic zone so all proceeds will go to WAKA Kicks Cancer. 

Chaotic KILFS (-1.5) over Balls So Hard

Myth: Ball So Hard University is simply a creation of Sean Carter aka Jay-Z.  In fact, it is a respected liberal arts university located in Brookline, Massachusetts.  The cafeteria serves black bean cakes on Tuesdays.  That’s HARD.

The Situation (-2.5) over Rumspringa

Myth: Southsider jokes are easy to write. 

Fact: My students now know Michigan as the “high-five state” because of Rick and Kecia’s Facebook post.

Boom! Vs. Battlestar Pick ‘Em

Fact: Alfred Nobel invented dynamite.  Yes, that Nobel.  The first thing he blew up?  Time-traveling Cylons.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time (-3.5) over Ball and Chain Gang

Fact: The Stamp Act taxes eliminated peanut butters major imported competition in Colonial America during the 18^th century.  Since that time, American prisoners have enjoyed protein-packed lunches while working on road crews.

Ballgasna (-8.0) over Kickin Atoms

Fact: Ballsagna is named in tribute to Harry Ballsagna, an 18^th century Italian immigrant who discovered the first neutron in Atomic City, Idaho.  His favorite food was twice-baked potatoes.  The least Italian food he could find.