May 1, 2013 Gambling Lines

Tomorrow marks the most important day of the calendar year: May the 1^st.  Not only will this glorious day be chock full of intense WAKA Peninsula , but the man behind the blog, behind the beard, and behind the hottest ginger in the league will be celebrating his birthday tomorrow.  To start the party off right, I bring you May 1^st themed gambling lines.

The author turning 20.  

'cause I'm doing whatever I want this week.

Misfits (-4.5) over Chicken Tetrazzini

1991: Rickey Henderson sets the record for most stolen bases in a career.  Kim Merritt was playing catcher.  After the game Rickey taught him everything he knows….about kickball.

1957: Larry King goes on the air for his first show.  Kim Merritt produces.  Larry teaches him everything he knows….about fashion.

5 O’Clockers (-1.5) over That Just Happened

Official Matt Wellbrock Upset Special: TJH

1863: The Battle of Chancellorsville begins.  General Stonewall Jackson is mortally wounded during the fight by friendly fire and perishes several days later.  This showdown might not be nearly as epic, but the this could be a season-defining game for TJH.

Who’s Driving Home (-4.5) over New Kickheads

1941: Citizen Kane is released, perhaps the finest film ever made.  This game will not measure up.  Oh, Rosebud.

Kick Ass (-0.5) over Moose Knuckles

2011: Osama bin Laden is killed by U.S. Navy Seals.

2013: Nathaniel Johnson and Kick Ass sends Jesse Jones home in tears…hardly a coincidence.

Foul Balls vs. Dirty Mike: Pick ‘Em

1948: The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (that’s North Korea) is established.  I was unable to decide if this applied more to Foul Balls or Dirty Mike and the Boyz, so it’s a toss-up to decide who is more evil.

Pop Pop (-4.5) over Battlestar Ballsacktica

1898: Commodore George Dewey leads the United States Navy to a decisive victory over the Spanish fleet in the opening days of the Spanish-American War.  Like those glorious weapons of American imperialism, Pop Pop will hammer the Battlestar into submission.

Rumspringa vs. Free Ballin’: Pick ‘Em

1969: Wes Anderson is born.  The quirky director that brought us modern comedy classics such as The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, and The Life Aquatic has a penchant for crafting off kilter tales of odd characters caught in complicated relationships.  He could write and direct the Rumspringa Story.

Pop Pop (-6.5) over Foul Balls

1960: An American U2 spy plane is shot down over the Soviet Union.  The Foul Balls’ dreams of an upset will be similarly quickly and viciously shot down. 

PBJ (-3.5) over Chubby Gangsters       

Bonus: Over/Under 12.5 total runs        

2003: President George W. Bush declares “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq.  After winning, PBJ grabs the Wentworth Trophy and declares Mission Accomplished.

                                        Thanks John, Paul, Ringo and George!

Battlestar Takes Another Loss. Oh , the Torture!!!

What just happened??? THAT just happened! TJH dealt a blow to the Ballsacks for an upset 2-4 win.  This 7:30 (8:30???) game was a thriller for the first few innings, but then Battlestar lost its edge and the wheels fell off of this game.  First of all, MVPeter Kuhr called in sick at the last second and that threw off the team's total concentration right there. He has since been banned from posting on the BB Facebook page until an official apology has been made. Or he could buy us all beer at Luckies, either one...
 The first inning brought in some runs for both teams.  Michael "The Machine" Machie was kicked in by Mark "Rabbit" Thompson's single bunt. (Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise...) Machie was on first and ran to third, but the throw was way off and Machie ran in for an easy score. 1-0!!  (Can we stop here???Pleeeeeeeze?)
 TJH came up and kicked a few runs in to make it a close 2-1.  Gotta stop here and give a shout out to my man, Geoff Morehart!  This ex-Ballsack is LOOKING GOOD! As we all know, he suffered a bad knee injury back in October and had to get that sucker repaired.  It's the first time the Ballsacks have seen him back in action and we just have to say.....DUDE!!!  YOU'RE ON THE WRONG TEAM!!!!  WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON??? HOW COULD YOU ABANDON US????  WTF??? OMG!!!! SMH!!!!  Seriously though, Geoff is out there running around and pitching like it never happened and we are so thrilled to see him doing so well, even though it's for another team. (TRAITOR!!!) Way to go, Geoff!

Miscellaneous photo of the Ballsack team last year (Fall season) because no one bothered to take photos of us last week.   Traitor Geoff Morehart included...

 Inning 3 is where things got nasty.  The Ballsacks were in position to score a few runs when Andrew Schlichte came up to kick.  With one out and bases loaded, he kicked away...or tried to. I think it went toward the right side somewhere. either way, he was thrown out for out #2, and a run went in making it 2-2, but someone told Jason Lantz to turn and look at third base, where he was promptly tagged out.  The SAME dang thing happened last week when the Silent Killer went up to kick!  Same dang scenario!!  The double play took the wind out of their sails and fell flat for the rest of the game.Who could be that 3rd base coach that's telling them to turn and look, you ask? Well, I won't name any names (GK) or anything, that wouldn't be nice. Besides, he (Big G) feels bad that it keeps happening, and he's (Guac loving Greek Freak) elected to give up that spot so someone else can feel the pressure of calling those plays.  It's all good, though! Battlestar will live to kick butt another day!  No harm done.  It's just a frickin' game, right??! We love you, George! ;) Wait, did I just say his name? Oh crap...
 Anyway, the Ballsacks fall 2-4 and have a 1-2 record at the moment.  They have several TOUGH games ahead in their schedule and Joe Stumpo, with his Italian mafia background, is planning on a trying out a few torture devices on fellow teammates.  The devises have been stored up in his attic for a while and he said "It's time to take them out and get them serviced and in working order. The thumbcrusher is my favorite! But even small plastic devices work just as well.  For instance, every time someone doesn't get on base, or drops a ball,  I'm gonna tie that person down and make them listen to "Kumbiaya" about 50 times, then pry their weeping eyes open to watch episodes of Honey Boo Boo and Kardashians.  Then I will offer them a spork to gouge said weepy eyes out. It'll be fun!"

"Didn't get on base?? Pick a color."-Joe Stumpo

Umm....I think I wanna be on another team now.... :(

VA Peninsula Coaches Poll - Week 4

After a drama filled week full of delayed games, on field skirmishes, and some upsets in the scorebooks, this week's coaches poll looks very different for some teams. 

10. Dirty Mike & the Boyz (14 pts)
Record: 3-1
Week 2: Won via forfeit vs. The Misfits
Dirty Mike have come out swinging so far this year, beating two veterans. Unfortauntely they lost their first game of the season against Kick Ass this passed week. They plan on bouncing back this week against probably their biggest rivals, Foul Balls.
Next: Foul Balls

9. Moose Knuckles (15 pts)
Record: 0-3
Week 2: Loss 3-1 vs. Moose Knuckles
Even at 0-3, I would say the Moose Knuckles record shouldn't be too surprising as they have played 3 very tough teams. I think what is surprising is their lack of offense. They have the fewest runs scored than any other team in the Peninsula so far this season (2). If they plan to right the ship, it has to start there.
Next: Kick Ass

8. Battlestar Ballsacktica (22 pts)
Record: 1-2
Week 2: Lost 4-2 vs That Just Happened
Battlestar vs. TJH was a game that had most pundits projecting whoever was to win a mighty rise in the elite rankings of the Peninsula rankings. Unfortunately, a tough loss actually dropped the Ballsacks a spot. Their next 4 games show no mercy in match-ups either. Pulling out a few wins though could shoot them right back to where they feel they belong.
Next: Pop Pop

7. Kick Ass (28 pts)
Record: 2-2
Week 2: Loss 7-2 vs Free Ballin' & Won 7-2 vs Dirty Mike & the Boyz
While many thought their Free Ballin' game was to be a battle between two up and coming teams, Free Ballin' came out to play early and Kick Ass just couldn't recover. The upcoming week is a tell-tale game for both them and their opponent. Both teams need this win bad.
Next: Moose Knuckles

6. Peanut Butter Jelly Time (32 pts)
Record: 3-0
Week 2: Win 4-32 vs Who's Driving Home?
PBJT is the only undefeated/untied team left in the league. While they stand atop the true standings, their strength of schedule is holding them back a little from making a huge climb in the coaches poll. If they plan on playing the "No Respect" card, they will have to beat a tough Chubby Gangster team who hit an offensive spark last week. Can they keep it up?
Next: Chubby Gangsters

5. Rumspringa (37 pts)
Record: 1-2
Week 2: Win 3-1 vs Moose Knuckles
There is no doubt that Rumspringa was the underdog going into their game last week. They didn't care what the critics had to say and took it to the preseason favorite of Moose Knuckles and solidified their name among the lips of ever kickballer this week. They will most likely be the underdog going into this week as well, but I would watch out.
Next: Free Ballin'

4. That Just Happened (50 pts)
Record: 2-1
Week 2: Won 4-2 vs Battlestar Ballsacktica

That Just Happened may be surprising some with their wins so far, but a quick look at their roster and you understand they were built to hang with the big dogs. Not only have they hung, but they've taken some of those big dogs down this season. They will truly be tested this week by the Supergroup, but I would look for their offense to give the Clockers more trouble than some would expect.
Next: 5 O'Clockers

3. Free Ballin' (51 pts)
Record: 3-1
Week 2: Win 7-2 vs Kick Ass
Free Ballin' is stingy with runs and so far this season has been liberal with the offensive output. Their lone loss this season could have easily gone the other way if that one ball doesn't get dropped. And 3 of their 4 opponents so far are in this top 10 list, and 5 of their last 6 games are also currently in the Top 10. If Free Ballin' can string together these wins, they could be a heavy favorite for the EOS Tournament.
Next: Rumspringa

2. 5 O Clockers (66 pts)
Record: 2-0-1
Week 2: Tie 1-1 vs Pop Pop

5OC came from behind to tie Pop Pop in the top of the 5th. Tempers flared and controversial calls were made. That only happens though when a team doesn't give up. They fought for that one run, and for now that one run leaves the still unanswered question of "Who's #1?". They may not get to play Pop Pop again during the regular season, but they'll have plenty opportunities to make a statement, starting with next week.Next: That Just Happened

1. Pop Pop (67 pts)
Record: 2-0-1
Week 2: Tie 1-1 vs 5 O'Clockers
Pop Pop's schedule has been tough so far, but that doesn't mean they can start slacking off. They have to continue to win the games they should win if they want to be relevant as a championship contender when it's all said and done.
Next: Battlestar Ballsacktica & Foul Balls

Other teams to receive votes: Foul Balls (2), The Misfits (1)

Game of the Week: 5 O'Clockers vs. That Just Happened

3 Up 3 Down - Episode 39

Congratulations to Adam Henry and Andrea Hoffman!

Congratulations to Adam Henry and Andrea Hoffman on their beautfiul wedding this weekend and best of wishes on the rest your lives together!!

Gif-tastic Gif-tacular Extravaganza! aka Bar Buzz

I have a confession. I am slightly obsessed with reality tv gifs. In the spirit of fun and feeding my heart’s desire I present to you, a GIF-tastic bar buzz edition! (This actually took me  awhile to research/compile, so no comments about this not being a full report!! Or negative 10 points to you!)

16. Chubby Gangstas

15. That Just Happened

14. New Kickheads

13. Kick Ass

12. Free Ballin

11. Battlestar

10. Foul Balls

9. Who’s Driving Home?

8. Moose Knuckles

7. Misfits

6. Dirty Mike and the Boyz

5.  5 O’Clockers

 4.  Chicken Tetrazzini

3. Pop Pop  

2.  PBJT

1. Rumspringa

Don’t come for me unless I send for  you,

Marilee

VA Peninsula Coaches Poll - Week 3

This week's poll results are unique as there is no debate among the captains as to which teams belong in the top 10. How those teams rank, however, is a different story.

10. Dirty Mike & the Boyz (13 pts)
Record: 2-0
Week 2: Won 3-2 vs. Chubby Gangsters
A first year team making splashes in their 2nd ever coaches poll. It helps having a 9 point run differential only two games in while taking out a veteran team like the Gangsters.
Next: Misfits & Kick Ass

9. Peanut Butter Jelly Time (24 pts)
Record: 2-0
Week 2: Won Won 9-5 vs Foul Balls
PBJT has scored more runs than anyone this season (21) and was able to beat the previously 10th ranked Foul Balls in a convincing win. 
Next: Who's Driving Home?

8. Rumspringa (33 pts)
Record: 0-2
Week 2: Lost 6-2 vs Kick Ass
There was a lot of debate on the captains page over whether these polls should be voted upon by current standings or if potential plays a part. Potential obviously won as Rumspringa have not won a game this season and are currently ranked 14th in the standings. That being said, they have lost to 2 teams that we will see later in the Top 2. Most critical pundits in this league will not be surprised to see Rum ranked this high. 
Next: Moose Knuckles

7. Battlestar Ballsacktica (47 pts)
Record: 1-1
Week 2: Won 2-1 vs Free Ballin'
After a very impressive, hard fought win over the very stubborn defense that is Free Ballin', the Ballsacks jumped up a spot and took one step closer to that respect they feel they deserve as contenders.
Next: That Just Happened

6. Kick Ass (55 pts)
Record: 1-1
Week 2: Loss 2-1 vs That Just Happened
Kick Ass had a heart wrenching walk-off loss to That Just Happened in Week 2, although those who watched the game understand it easily could have gone either way. While they have dropped a spot in the rankings, they have an upcoming doubleheader that could give them a lot more clout with the voters next week.
Next: Free Ballin' & Dirty Mike & the Boyz

5. Free Ballin' (56 pts)
Record: 1-1
Week 2: Loss 2-1 vs Battlestar Ballsacktica & Win 7-3 vs Who's Driving Home?
With an impressive win against TJH in Week 1 and a close fought battle in Week 2, Free Ballin' sticks around the Top 5 for the second week in a row. I'm sure some of that has to do with their stingy defense and ability to shut down offense.
Next: Kick Ass

4. That Just Happened (61 pts)
Record: 1-1
Week 2: Won 2-1 vs Kick Ass
While the first year team didn't lose much credit with the poll takers after their Week 1 loss, they definitely bolstered their reputation after a walk-off win over Kick Ass in Week 2. They gained two spots over their early season foes and look to gain even more ground on the top 3 with a tough Battlestar game this week.
Next: Battlestar Ballsacktica

3. Moose Knuckles (72 pts)
Record: 0-2
Week 2: Loss 3-1 vs 5 O Clockers
If you were surprised to see Rumspringa on this list at 0-2, your jaw probably just hit the floor seeing a winless team in the top 3. While they are technically 13th in the overall standings, the only two teams they've played are the two teams you are about to see as #1 & #2. Not only that, they haven't lost by more than 2 runs and despite a couple rough spots in an inning or two, they have contended very well with both teams. Pick your jaw back up off the floor, because this shouldn't be a surprise.
Next: Rumspringa

2. 5 O Clockers (91.5 pts)
Record: 2-0
Week 2: Won 3-1 vs Moose Knuckles
While it has been a short season so far, only allowing 1 run in your first two games, especially against the likes of Rumspringa and Moose Knuckles, is no easy feat. While the Supergroup technically rests at the top of the league standings, they plan on taking over the voters this week as they square off against...

Next: Pop Pop

1. Pop Pop (97.5 pts)
Record: 2-0
Week 2: Won 6-2 vs Rumspringa
This upcoming week the brand new team made up of WAKA veterans tests their current #1 ranking against 5OC. Their stats are virutally identical and they have both beaten the same two teams. Game of the Week for sure.
Next: 5 O Clockers

Week 3 Gambling Lines: Cold War Kickball

It’s a cold day in late April, three weeks into the “spring” 2013 WAKA VA Peninsula kickball season.  Brent is getting a tan on the beaches of Costa Rica with his lovely wife and Wellbrock went camping in a freezing typhoon, so we couldn’t hold our weekly Yalta Conference.  I guess I’m left out in the cold all alone.  Lucky for you kickballers, when I’m cold and lonely…I make Cold War gambling lines for Week 3!  Meatheads, go ahead and scroll down to your team.  Loyal readers, hang on for wild ride through history’s most famous war of words played out over one blog post and nine kickball games.

This is serious.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time (-4.0) over Who’s Driving Home

Who’s Driving Home? No one, the KGB has taken your car and replaced it with a broken down white Yugo.  No government interference so far in the privately owned kickball winning business run by the peanut butter pounding patriots in purple. 

Foul Balls (-4.5) over Chicken Tetrazzini

For 13 days in November, the world held its breath as President John F. Kennedy stared down the Soviet Union with a naval blockade stopping ICBMs from being placed in Cuba.  It’s exactly like trying to negotiate with Foul Balls leadership, one must be firm and flex your muscles and look directly into Andreas Beyersdorf’s eyes and ask “have you no sense of decency, sir?”.  The Foul Balls relaunch their winning ways in Week 3.  However, in the alternate reality of Stephen King's 11/22/63, Adam Henry rockets a walk-off solo home run into the crowd to signify the end of his batchelorhood.  

Moose Knuckles (-1.0) over Rumspringa

Mr. Edge-achev…tear down this wall!  The wall between your heart and the rest of this league must fall (#getbetteredge).  Also, the wall between the White Knucklers kickers and the scoreboard must fall if they hope to move into the win column this week.  The Rumspringa won’t make it easy in this battle of two teams in search of their first win after two difficult early contests.

Dirty Mike and the Boyz vs. the Misfits: Pick ‘Em

During the height of the Cold War, the American counter-culture movement emerged and the music of peace and love dominated the AM radio waves.  Dirty Mike and the Boyz are all about sharing free love and will have a screw party in a pretty Prius at the drop of a hat.  The Misfits crank out hardcore punk rock, the direct antithesis of the music which hippies love.  It’s the war for America’s capitalist soul…and the winner has yet to be determined.  Either way, America wins.

Free Ballin’ (-1.0) over Kick Ass

SALT treaties between the two sides in this contest have been progressing well in recent seasons as these two rivals have cooled towards one another.  Don’t expect Perestroika when Free Ballin’ and Kick Ass meet at War Memorial this Wednesday night.  Being free to free ball is everything the democratic nations of the west stood for, meanwhile Kick Ass wears the ice grey of a dark and repressive communist regime.  A battle of ideologies between MKEH and EAAKAM is set.

New Kickheads (-0.5) over Chubby Gangsters

New Kickheads tied The Misfits and the Chubby Gangsters lost to the same team by a run.  Based on these results, the house has to favor the Kickheads, but this is as close to a toss-up as you can get.  Just like life behind the Iron Curtain, there are lots of unknowns in this game.

5 O’Clockers (-0.5) over Pop Pop

The Korean War ended in a stalemate and in all likelihood, this one would as well.  The real war in this battle for first place will be between the Pop Pop stout SDI defense system, and the powerful 5 O’Clocker arsenal.  The most razor thin of edges goes to the Clockers after a big win in Week 2, but don’t be surprised if they wake up Thursday and realize “It’s Mourning in America” (that was an extremely layered joke which I can only hope gets through to Kim Merritt).

Kick Ass (-2.5) over Dirty Mike and the Boyz

We’re just here to put some D’s in A’s.  Henry Kissinger style.

That Just Happened (-1.0) over Battlestar

The Battlestar will try to give Geoff Morehart and company the Rosenbergs treatment when he returns to the home front.  Senator Joe McCarthy would be proud of the propaganda George Kirizidas and Karen Savell have been disseminating on what should happen to known enemies of the state.

A touching Cold War anthem.

Spring 2013 Week Twwooooooo

We witnessed something special last week. No, not the uniting of teams to sing “All I Do is Win.” No, not the line dancing that erupted. And no, not a glorious combo of tequila, sprite, and OJ. We all saw a lovely lady of the night pay her damn rent with some VA transit guys. Let’s all just take a minute and reflect…..

16. Misfits

15. Kick Ass

14. 5 O’Clockers

13. Chubby Gangstas

12. PBJT

11. Battlestar Ballsackticka

10. Dirty Mike and the Boyz : Nice patio dance moves. Bring them in next time? K? Awesome.

9. Who’s Driving Home: Keep going, shots and numbers can’t do all the work.

8. Pop Pop: Big ups to Amanda Doolittle for capturing the WAKA make out club. Also, good evasive moves from the creepers of the VTA.

7. That Just Happened: Hey boo hey. I like your dance moves and your commitment to improving. In elementary school you would have won the “B.U.G.” Award. Bringing up grades. Keep it up or you owe me extra credit ;)

6.  Rumpspringa: Mingling is the key to fun. You all get that. And I love you for it. <3

 5.  Moose Knuckles: 12 people came out. And considering how many southside douchers players we adopted, that is a nice showing.

4.  New Kickheads: I saw ya playing flip cup. Way to represent and make noise early.

3. Free Ballin: Shot, shot, shot, shot. Word around the way is that the Rock Sisters came out to play. MK vouches for you, so you are cool with me!

2. Foul Balls : 8 people after 1 am? Now this is what I think of when I picture the Foulies. Keep mingling though guys, no one likes elitists.

1. Chicken Tetrazini: Started from the bottom now we here!!! Ahhhhhhh yessssssss. This feels right. Are we in a safe, loving trust tree? Cause it feels like it.

***BREAKING NEWS: Adam and Andrea require the belt for their wedding. I don’t care who gets it next week. It needs to be there. *****

Don’t come for me unless I send for  you,

Marilee

Battlestar Takes Their First Win of the Season

Photos by Nick Sutton and Karen Savell  

      Free Ballin' goes free fallin' as the Ballsacks beef it up on both sides of the ball for their first win of the season. It was a close competition of defense from both teams and it came down to the last inning, but the BB's held on for the win!
     The top of the line up for both teams kind of fell flat, (Kinda like Alison Easterday's hair on a rainy day) but somehow the middle of the line up for Battlestar took it on and drove it in for the win! The first inning had Battlestar out in the field first and it was 3 up and 3 down. BOOM! Oh wait, no it wasn't...a late call at first revealed that Joe Stumpo pulled his foot off too soon for the out so they all took the field again and 10 seconds later got the third out. BOOM!
     But Free Ballin' wasn't going down that easy, because they did the same thing! With Mark Flores pitching and Frank Council as charger, those bunts were getting no where except to first before the runner. Speaking of Frank...a hard kick was made over his head sometime during the game, but somehow he jumped up and that ball stuck at the tip of his fingers for an awesome catch! Dude!!! How do you do that?! Sa-WEET!!!
It went back and forth like this until Andrew Schlichte was able to kick in Brandon Silver for the first run of the game in the top of the 2nd inning.
     With Michael "The Machine" Machie at charger and Mark "Rabbit" Thompson as catcher for the Ballsacks, they worked in tandem throughout the game and made it look easy. When asked what their secret was, Mark replied,"Um, before the game, we got Jason Lantz to sit on the ball and flatten it a little so it was easier to throw. It worked! Oh wait, was I supposed to not say anything?? Sh**..." He later recanted his statement saying that "What I meant to say was that we're just sh** hot! Yeah, that's about it..."

 I'm bad

     The fourth inning got pretty exciting for the Ballsacks. With Jason Lantz, Nicole Plesha, and Andrew Schlichte on base and no one out, captain George Kiriazidis came up to kick and popped up for an easy out. No one was able to tag and advance, so with one out Karen "Silent Killer" Savell took to the plate. She's not known for her kick aways but she did her best and booted a line drive right behind the pitcher. It looked to be a bobble by Shane Neilson and everyone ran! Jason Lantz went in for the go ahead run and Nicole rounded third and took a look, but she was tagged out for what was thought as the 2nd out. Then there was some controversy as to whether he actually caught it. First base ref called it a catch, but the Battlestar bench clearly saw it bobble from the ground and bounce back into his arms. After a ref meeting the call was ruled as a catch (out #2) and the tag out at 3rd on Nicole (out #3). Either way, Lantz came in for the go ahead run. RKI for the Silent Killer!
The final inning had Free Ballin' kicking last and they made it close! With 2 people on base and one out, it got pretty tight. Anything could happen! A line drive kick was punted to short stop Christina Race where she made a quick catch of it for out #2. Then a high kick away to right field looked to be out of reach and foul ball anyway, but....the Silent Killer got under it quicker than Louisiana Lightning and caught it for the final out! BOOM! Game over.
Final score 2-1, BalllllllllllllllllllllllSACKS!!!!!
     Now that I think about it, I don't think it was the final catch of the game...that might have happened in the 4th inning when the situation was the same with 2 runners on base. Either way, it was a pretty cool catch to get Battlestar out of a jam.
     Because of the Silent Killer's highlight plays of the night, her agent is in the middle of renegotiating her contract for a more favorable deal as well as a few more endorsement contracts. The "Depends" company and the manufacturers of "Ensure" have come forward with contracts but it is not clear if the Silent Killer has accepted them at this time. She has also received "death threats" from Mary Katherine captain of Free Ballin'. It's reported that she threatened to tie her down and get her dog "Jules" to lick the life right out of her, in retaliation to the dead fish that was handed to MK by Stumpo after the end of the game. When she asked what it was for,he said "You're sleepin' with the fishes now!" Oh dear...Never tick off an Italian!!
     Seriously, it's all in fun! The Ballsack/Free Ballin' rivalry is always a blast and one of the most enjoyable games to watch (and be a part of) in this league. Always a pleasure Free Ballin'! Good luck to you for the rest of the season!

Karen, I'm gonna make Jules lick you like THIS!!! You are sooo dead!

Next up: That Just Happened...what just happened?! A new rivalry is gonna happen! Geoff Morehart defected from the Ballsacks to form his own team this season. Hmmmmm...he knows all our team secrets. Joe, he knows too much!! What should we do about it?! You plan it out, and I'll bring a shovel... ;)

Week 2 Gambling Lines: Veronica Mars Investigates the Peninsula

Veronica Mars fans and creator Rob Thomas have made (internet) headlines recently with a wildly successful Kickstarter campaign which has raised $5.7 million to finance a theatrical film based on the CW series.  Veronica, Keith, Weevil and the entire town of Neptune will be back in the spotlight and on the silver screen shortly.  With any luck, my donation will win me the role of town bookie in this forthcoming classic detective noir film.  To boost my campaign, I bring you the Week 2 WAKA Peninsula gambling lines that Veronica would be proud to fake bet on.

Best. Television series. Ever.

Pop Pop (-1.5) over Rumspringa

Who killed Lilly Kane?  The question of who murdered her best friend haunted Veronica throughout season one.  Who is this Pop Pop team who arrived new to WAKA VA Peninsula in the Spring 2013 season and knocked off preseason favorite Moose Knuckles in dramatic fashion?  Like Kristen Bell, star of Veronica Mars, they are young, hot and blond.  Now Pop Pop faces off against one of the league’s longest tenured team, Rumspringa, who are surely headed for Peninsula syndication after many successful seasons.  Another early season matchup which will have implications in determining the top seeds come tournament time.  You make the call.

The Misfits (-4.0) over New Kickheads

Veronica became a bit of a misfit at Neptune High School after her father, Keith, wrongfully accused the wealthy software entrepreneur Jake Kane of murdering his daughter.  Will the Misfits rise to the elite social status of the 09ers or fall back into a more fitting role with Weevil and his biker gang?  In Week 2, The Misfits will “Walk Among Us” and advance to 2-0 over the New Kickheads.  However, it is 90s week, so don’t count the Kickheads on the Block out.  It’s horror-core punk rock vs. boy band bubble pop…sounds like Kim Merritt’s new musical side project.

Dirty Mike and the Boyz (-2.0) over Chubby Gangsters

The PCHers were the bike gang which ran the Neptune High School criminal underground and were led by the original Chubby Gangster Eli “Weevil” Navarro.  I always had a problem with the fact that Weevil’s full helmet did not appear very gangster, and likewise the CG’s were not very Gangster-esque in their spring debut.  Meanwhile, newcomers Dirty Mike and the Boyz made a big splash in Week 1 with a 12-1 win over Chicken Tetrazzini.  It’s like when Wallace Fennel, Veronica’s best friend and source in the school records office, joined the Neptune High School basketball team and made an immediate splash.  Wallace’s afro looks kind of like Fozzie’s bed head. 

Moose Knuckles vs. 5 O’Clockers Pick ‘Em

Like the Veronica Mars series, the Moose Knuckles are critically-acclaimed, but lack popular appeal.  The 5 O’Clockers are a long-running series and are also deserving of their own film series.  The Clockers have made a dramatic attempt at winning the ratings battle by totally reworking their cast for this season and adding in several new cast members.  The new characters appeared to gel well in Week 1 as the Clockers scored a solid win over Rumspringa 2-0.  Don’t expect a lot of offensive fireworks in this one, but if you’re a fan of crisp, clean kickball action, you probably want to tune in at 7:30.  This showdown will be reminiscent of the Season One finale when Veronica faces down Lilly Kane’s killer (no spoilers here) on a rainy night at a cabin in the woods.  It’s a star-studded affair.

Free Ballin’ (-1.5) over Battlestar Ballsacktica

In Season 2 of Veronica Mars, Steve Guttenberg arrives on the scene as the owner of the local baseball franchise in Neptune.  Mark Flores resembles a late career Steve Guttenberg, ripped to the core.  Free Ballin’ eked out a Week 1 win over That Just Happened, but displayed an impressive defense in the effort.  The Battlestar draws its namesake from two classic sci-fi television series, which somehow fails to help them in this week’s gambling lines.  Mary Katherine Evans Hogg is probably a Cylon out to destroy BB.

Who’s Driving Home vs. Chicken Tetrazzini: PIck 'Em

After Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas went on to create the hilarious Adam Scott Showtime vehicle Party Down.  Who’s Driving Home has been fashioned in the same manner, from several out of work actors from Veronica Mars and other canceled kickball teams.  Unlike the first episode of Party Down, it’s impossible to tell if Brian Neal’s Who’s Driving Home will be a hit or a flop.  The Angry Birds look to bounce back from an embarrassing beating in Week 1.  Hard to tell with these two teams, so we leave it in the viewer’s (bettor’s) hands.

Kick Ass (-1.5) over That Just Happened

Kick Ass initiated their own Kickstarter campaign to raise money for Danger’s rehab over the winter.  The rehab stint didn’t work and the men and women of KA were up to their old tricks in a 5-2 Week 1 win over Battlestar.  That Just Happened is a new WAKA squad under the leadership of Geoff Morehart.  Katie Litle is on TJH and I can’t help but think she would have played the feisty Veronica Mars in superb fashion.  Kick Ass gets the nod from the oddsmakers after Week 1, but beware this new That Just Happened team once they have a few games under their belt. 

Free Ballin’ (-8.0) over Who’s Driving Home

In Season Two, Veronica investigated a tragic bus crash which claimed the lives of several of her Neptune High School classmates.  Not nearly as tragic, but, on paper, this game appears to be a bus crash of epic proportions.  Free Ballin’ is locked and loaded and looks to flex their muscles in this Week 2 matchup. 

Foul Balls vs. Peanut Butter Jelly Time: Pick ‘Em

I’m so damn excited for a Veronica Mars movie that I couldn’t make up a line for this game.  That or it will just be an evenly matched contest between two up and coming squads.  Will Veronica go afoul of the law as she is wont to do, or will she ever return to the life of a fun-loving high school senior who enjoys an afternoon peanut butter jelly sandwich with her friends?  Wade Brock is Logan Echolls.  What a tool.

Spring 2013 Week One Bar Buzz: Welcome back!

Knock Knock ! Who’s there??? Throbbing Thursday! Damn…. Well boys and girls I am glad that the Bar Buzz is back! Finally my skill of judging and catty comment making pays off.  And to think, my mom said being bitchy wouldn’t get me anywhere…..

16. That Just Happened:  What just happened? I missed it and you.

15. Chicken Tetrazzini: So…. I saw the picture you all took outside and I appreciate it. Sadly, I did not see enough pink in the AMP or in my blurred bad vision

14. Battlestar Ballsackticka: Ok BB, I know that we have gone through this before.  But, I am not alone in missing you at Luckies. L Reports are that you were out in full force earlier. More than likely true. I truly hope I missed you, and think of this as a challenge. Everyone loves a comeback!

 13. Dirty Mike and the Boyz: I was so hopeful seeing the “z” on your name.  I expected break dance fighting or at least some shady business happening. Bring it out kids. I don’t judge, much.

12. Misfits: Your logos really stood out in a sea of dark colored jerseys! Accessorizing is the key to my heart. Special shout out to Simone. Apparently you were trying to win the belt all on your own! Flip cuppin, socializing, dance partying, late night diva. My kind of girl. Keith brought in a ringer…

11. New Kickheads:  You can do better than this. Still love you.

10. Kick Ass: KA1<3 I don’t know your cheers anymore, but I do know that the spotlight was shining bright down on you in the AMP.  I don’t know if that is a sign from up above  or not, but… If you’re there God, it’s me, Marilee.

9. Chubby Ganstas:  Ah a light blue color that my eyes can find in the dark and pictures. I would like to see more of you. As in I miss you.

8. Foul Balls: I remember flashes of green….. Thankfully not green flashers. Either way, your reputation may have gotten you higher than earned.  Dennis also saved you. Don’t let it happen again.

7. Free Ballin: A Litle bird  (ha get it??) told me that Amy is really a force to be seen. You have the fever child and you are not afraid to spread it. (Wait, what??) And we’re freeeeeee, freeee balllllinnnn. In my mind, you all sing that around fire pits. I hope it’s true.

6. PBJT: Purple people eaters unite!  As always, you came out in force and stayed late. I guess I expect a little more outrageous behavior from my former teammates. Big shoes to fill. Bring it on snitches.

5.  5 Oclockers: The just for five o’clockers? Who are ya’ll? Well, you are a social bunch that’s who! Glad to see you all out and about. I wanted some dance moves. Who doesn’t love inappropriate dancing?? I know a blog writer who loves it….

4. Moose Knuckles: The ORIGINAL bar buzz champs. That’s right, WAKA history makers. Can’t wait for some earlier games so we can all hang out after. I hope the boys are working on their choreographed N’Sync dance number to really step it up…

3. Pop Pop: Sure, I refused to speak to some of you after our on field loss. But, I can’t stay mad at you.  Don’t get me out at first and see how you do then.

2. Rumspringa: There were a lot of you out. David Lopez tried  the wing challenge. But then….. you all sat at the flip cup tables. AND then when “All I Do is Win” came on the performance was lackluster. No lie, it hurt to watch. Come on man!!!

1. Who’s Driving Home?: No seriously, who drove home. Thanks for the shot. And way to get it to me earlier in the night.  Big ups to Brian Neal for bringing all his newbies out. Well played kids. Can’t wait to see what you bring to the league this season!

No tea, no shade!

Marilee

Ballsacks Hang Low After First Loss

Photos by Nick Sutton

Video by the "Silent Killer"

Out with the old, in with the new...

      Spring has sprung! Flowers are blooming and big red balls are being kicked! It's finally here!! WAKA Wednesdays have finally returned after a torturous 4 weeks between seasons. (I barely made it through... It was maddening!!) during the off season, the Ballsacks picked up a few new players along the way. Captain George Kiriazidis recruited Andrew Schlichte after seeing his awesome talent in the winter league. But the real reason he was added is because he always shared his awesome brew of Hot Fireball Cider week after co-o-o-oooold week....and if he doesn't bring something as awesomely delicious by next game day he'll be kicked off quicker than green grass through a goose! That's what George said anyway... Welcome, Andrew!
     Another awesome addition to the team is Richie Price. He's a lady killer!! Don't worry, he was acquitted! He's lucky enough to be on probation long enough to play the entire spring season. Witnesses are quickly and mysteriously disappearing so he'll probably be with us longer than that! Welcome, Richie Price!
     Tiffany Thompson is another addition that we are looking forward to seeing in action! Mark recruited his sister and she's just as small as he is! In fact, she'd have to stand up twice to cast a shadow. She's about knee high to a grasshopper, but she's super fast! She's gotta run around in the shower to get wet. If she stands sideways and sticks out her tongue, she'd look like a zipper! Ok, ran out of sayings.....she's small, ok?! Welcome, Tiffany!
     Finally, our last newbie is Christina Race. The Silent Killer found her wandering on the roadside hungry, dirty, and alone. She took in the stray and nursed her back to health and now she's conditioned and ready to play! She has been fully vaccinated and passed WHO certification, so if she bites you there is no fear of contracting rabies. It's all good! Welcome, Christina!
      Ok, let's get to the game, because....there was a game and stuff!
Battlestar took on team Kick Ass for a close couple of innings before the KA's pulled ahead for the 5-3 win. The End.
Seriously though, Battlestar struggled early with wayward pitches causing several walks to add to the KA's advantage. If not for that, the competition would have been much closer. George had a bum wing, and due to the sheer aerodynamics of Andy Tapley's shaved dome, he couldn't quite adjust to the subtle change in decreased wind resistance. But the Ballsacks trudged on!

Manny Anderson chasing down the lady killer, Richie Price

A few highlights in this game were (Dun dun DUH!!!!!!)...
Newbie Richie Price kicked a whopper line drive right over the charger's head for his first WAKA kick ever! What a debut! (We were told not to pay any attention to the mean looking guys with dark sunglasses running next to him)

A sweet double play was made by Michael Machie when he tagged a runner going home and then threw back to third to Christina Race for the final out of the inning. BOOM!

Bryan Noshoes (ON BASE MACHINE!!!!!!) Moore kicked a high sac fly to right field where Karen "Silent Killer" Savell (Third person alert!) caught it and threw it in, but not before a few runners went in to score.

Nicole Plesha bunted down first for a sweet RKI sacrifice!

Alison Easterday uncharacteristically caught a ball. (Love ya!)

First baseman Joe Stumpo fielded a bunt down first and did an awesome superman dive to tag the base with the ball to get the out!

A KA line drive kick was booted between SS Christina Race and 3rd base-lady Nicole Plesha and Christina made a diving move to keep it in play. Dang!!

I believe I can fly!

George Kiriazidis bunted all over Manny Anderson (and he will never live that down. EVER!!!!! Prepared for more trash talking!!!!)

So the Ballsacks are 0-1 to start the season, but there's a whole lot more season left!

Fear the BallllllllllllllllllllSACKS!!!!!!!!

P.S.-During the game MVPeter Kuhr lost his keys and was totally distracted from the game because they were no where to be found. Finally after the game they were found in Michael Machie's bag. Mike has been detained for questioning and is being held without bail at this time. He may or may not be making an appearance by game time next week. That will be determined on whether he is cooperating fully or not. It is reported that MVPeter will probably drop charges but wants him to have a little jail time to "learn a lesson" and that Mike looks good in stripes anyway...

BOOM!  See ya next week!